Unbreak My Heart
by ZiOfShadows
Summary: A Mass Effect fanfic that begins somewhere after Virmire and before Ilos. It doesn't really follow the plot of the game. Joker x Shepard, Ashley x OC, Garrus x OC romances evolve through the chapters. Story revolves around Shepard and Joker.
1. Chapter 1 How It Goes

Joker heard the footsteps coming closer, soft but somewhat long strided, too light to be male, and since there was only a small amount of women on board, he knew who it was... He winced and hit a button on the huge console in front of him, sending a shudder of beeps across the projection screen. Nothing. _Shit! Turn off!_ He bit down on his lower lip and tapped the button repeatedly, in a rush to exit the view screen he'd been watching. Just as sweat began to bead on his forehead, the screen cleaned, switched to black and a tiny message typed across the screen; 'Link closed.'

_Thank the space gods._ He thought, giving a slight sigh of relief, and turned his head just in time to see the Commander take her last stride and stop beside him. "Hey, Commander." Joker nodded, unable to break the habit he'd picked up in those long months of serving her. He'd adapted it at first to show he had manners, that he wasn't just a sarcastic pilot who happened to suffer an uncurable disease, but now, after time had passed, it was more a signal of respect and... well... let's stick with respect. He did his best to look innocent.

"Heya, Joker." The easy going tones of the Commander replied as she slipped her long, fine fingers onto her hips. She didn't sound angry, or even slightly annoyed, which surprised Joker since he'd been listening in on those damn council aliens ordering her around, and unlike her he'd overheard the comments they'd made about her after. He'd been so caught up in the aliens chat about the Commander that he hadn't heard her approaching, and thus the situation had begun.

She wasn't in formal mood, which surprised him more still, but she'd settled into her fun side, the side he loved most of all - the mood she usually only adapted when they stopped on the Citadel for one of their much needed breaks. Something wasn't right...

"So, uh, how'd the meeting go?" Joker asked slowly, trying to hide the fact he'd heard every word and knew it hadn't gone well. In an effort to hide the truth he kept his eyes on one of the various screens and kept fiddling around with the buttons on the console.

The Commander's laugh echoed in the small space, free and happy for the briefest moment. "Oh, come on, Joker! I know you better than that. Don't try and pretend you weren't listening in." The smirk she gave was the same smirk that made mens heart rates increase.

Joker glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, then sighed in amusement and threw up his hands in fake alarm. "Okay, so I've been caught! Yeah, Commander, I was listening in - yeah, yeah, as usual." He added the last part when he noticed the look on her face. He turned in his chair to better see her, his expression darkening slightly. "They chewed you out again, huh?"

The Commander sighed, lifted her hands slightly as she shrugged and sunk into the seat nearest Joker, leaning over so her arms rested on her knees and her eyes were on the floor. She looked much like a teenager who was waiting in the principals office to be suspended... or worse. "What do you want me to say, Joker? You saw it all. I'm still going over it in my head." She lifted her gaze, crystal blue eyes fixing on him. "Did I do the wrong thing in letting Kaidan die?"

Joker watched her, listening intently, and when she turned those intense blue pools to him he found he was struggling to breath. In an attempt to catch himself, he looked back at the screens, leant back in his chair and took a deep, steady breath. "I dunno, Commander. If I had all the answers, I'd be a God." He turned his head to look at her, a slight smirk creeping across his face.

The Commander chuckled, sitting up properally, and stretched slightly as if trying to ease the huge weight which had formed on her shoulders. "Ah, Joker... you always know just what not to say." She chuckled, definately being sarcastic, and he had to admire her courage.

He continued to watch as she focused her gaze on one of the screens, and stared a little too intently into the space that spread before them, glowing ebony with stray stars dancing about in the distance. But they both knew she wasn't watching the galaxy - she was reliving that moment... that moment when she'd been forced to choose.

Joker looked down, and found that the floor was suddenly so intresting. He tried to come up with something smart to say, anything to ease the pain, but found himself clueless as to what would help. He loved her. He'd always loved her. Well, not always, since they hadn't gotten along at all when they'd first met, but since this last mission, and perhaps the one before, he'd found himself worrying more and more for her safety. He found his stomach churning with unease everytime she wandered onto some unexplored planet, a migrain gaining weight in his mind as her comm messages got staticy, and worse, when he actually lost her signal. He'd tried to hard to ignore those feelings, hiding behind his sense of humor and such, but in the end it had been mass failure.

So to avoid thinking about her, he began listening in to the conversations taking place around the Normandy. And it was because of that he'd noticed Kaidan's growing interest in the Commander, the way they talked and... flirted. It made him angry, but he'd pushed it aside, just kept smiling, and decided that it was better that way. Hell, kept him out of trouble anyway.

But then they'd come back from that last mission... and Kaidan hadn't been with them... And Joker had been trying to figure out why ever since.

He sighed, the sound catching in his throat, and he touched a random button on his console to study the screen it brought up. He casually glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and said quietly; "Commander... I know it couldn't have been easy down there. Choosing between Williams and Alenko, I..." he paused. _I what? I'm glad she chose Williams? I want to know why she did it? Why did she let him die? I... _"I don't think I could have done it. I'm sorry." His gaze dropped.

He felt her eyes on him, those intense, vibrant blue eyes that made men drown when they looked into them. As endless as the sky and as deep as the sea. He felt her smile, those warm, full lips curving upwards only slightly, revealing that slight overbite she had which suited her so well. "Oh, Joker..."

That soft, still voice. He lifted his gaze and looked at her. "Commander?" She'd paused, and he wanted to know why. His brow furrowed slightly as he waited.

She watched him still, that sad smile on her face. "I feel so selfish. Like I let him down... I didn't know who to choose... Ash is my best friend, and Kaidan--" She cut herself off and her head fell into her open hands. She wasn't crying, not yet, but was so close.

Joker's reaction was immediate. He leant across and put a hand on her shoulder. "Commander, I know. You loved him. It must be hard." He was about to add something when she suddenly shook her head and gave a sob.

"No! I didn't love him! That's why I chose Ash!" She managed to get the words out, but then just surrendered to her sobs. Her shoulders shook, her fringe fell around her hands but the rest of her dark hair was contained within her ponytail.

Joker didn't know what to say. He felt like he'd been hit across the back of his head with a very heavy hammer. _She didn't love him?_ The realization hadn't quite sunk in. _But I saw them talking, heard them flirting, saw him try to kiss her! Whats--_ He withdrew his hand and took his hat off to run his fingers through his hair. He needed to think, needed to figure out what she'd meant. He could only watch in stunned silence as she cried all her tears, and soon enough she had sat up, wiped her face and left no evidence that she had been crying at all.

Joker replaced his hat, trying to look natural, but couldn't help wondering how many times before she had wiped her tears and put on that same fake outlook. "Commander..." He said softly, trying as gently as possible to urge her to explain.

She didn't look at him. The Commander sighed, and looked absently at the floor. "I didn't love him, Joker. I never did. I talked to him just like I did to everyone else, but he began to see something that wasn't there. And like a fool, I encouraged it." She sighed in annoyance and shook her head. "When he started flirting with me, I should have stopped, but I just flirted back... I thought it was all a game to try and keep our morale up, and then when he tried to kiss me, I-- Well, you saw, like you always do." She couldn't help but give a light smile and looked his way, eyes full of understanding.

Joker smiled softly, but it soon fell and he shook his head. "Commander, you didn't love him? I thought-- I mean... It makes sense, but... but--"

"But he died for me?" The Commander cut in.

Joker nodded. Just once, a single nod to show they had the same thought at the same instant. "Yes. Yes, he did. Don't get me wrong, Commander, we all would. You're more than a Commander, your a... friend." He shrugged his shoulders lightly and offered a slight smirk.

The Commander nodded. "I know. I've always thought of the crew as friends more than anything. Sometimes family. Now more than ever." She straightened up slightly, a look of determination on her face. "I let him die because I was afraid of what he was feeling for me. But also because I was so scared of losing my best friend. I owe Ash an explanation." She got to her feet, and turned to go.

"Commander." Joker used the arm of his seat to help him up. He stood, leaning heavily on the console to keep the weight off his legs, and watched her.

The Commander turned back to him, eyes focused, a confused look written on her face. "Joker?"

Joker paused for a second, watching her, eyes fixed on hers, somehow able to ignore the flashing lights of the consoles and the beepings of the commands initiating all around them. In his eyes, she was all he saw. All he ever saw. "I'd die for you, too. Any day of the week. And if I was Alenko... It's a choice I'd never regret." He smiled confidently at her then.

The Commander's face lit up into that smile that everyone loved so much. "Joker... thank you." She smiled, and for an instant it looked like she was going to hug him, but then she seemed to return to her senses and remember she'd probably break something or other, what with his disease. Still smiling, she turned, and half walked, half skipped down the corridor which led to the map room, and then on to the stairs which led to the elevator which would take her to the garage.

Joker knew that was where she was heading. After all, she was going to talk to Williams, and Ashley Williams was always in the garage at her work bench. He smirked as he watched her go, partially because he knew she was feeling better, but more because he adored the view.


	2. Chapter 2 All So Confidant

The Commander walked down the corridor, steps light, though she still had a deep, dark sadness clinging to her inside. She'd miss Kaidan, no doubt about it, but she would have missed Ash more. She'd never had a real friend. Her family had been killed when she was sixteen when slavers raided her home world, Mindoir, where a small border colony had been formed. She'd only been saved since an Alliance patrol had happened past, and she'd enlisted with the military when she was eighteen. For those two years between losing her family and enlisting she'd been totally alone, struggling to survive as the orphan and castout she was.

But it wasn't without its merits. Due to the loss of her family, she'd formed the skill to become incredibly attatched to anyone she worked with, or considered a friend - and she didn't have many of those. Early in her military career she was stuck facing an overwhelming enemy force. Having remembered how useless and pathetic she'd felt after watching the slaughter of her homeworld, she'd become so angry that she'd risked her own life to save her fellow soldiers and defeat the enemy, even against the impossible odds. Her bravery and heroism earned her medals and recognition with the Alliance fleet, but more importantly, it earned her the trust of all those she saved. It might even have been worthwhile, if most of them hadn't been killed in the next mission they were sent on.

And so she had basically lost every friend she'd earned. She'd ended up on the Normandy, most recently, and had been determained not to form any close bonds, due to the fact people seemed to die so easily these days, but as the time passed she found it difficult - it was just in her nature to befriend and protect. And Ashley Williams, who had had a life so different from Shepards, had become her best friend. And it was a bond they wouldn't break - that was why the Commander had chosen Ash in the long run. And a little because she was scared of Kaidan's feelings for her.

He was a good man, but he'd talked to her about someone he'd loved a long time ago, and that had hurt the Commander. She didn't want to know about people's past loves. She envied it. She'd spent so long running and fighting that she just wanted to think she was special in someone's eyes, not that she had to compete with the image of the past love they had. Even with that, she'd never felt any real connection to Kaidan, not beyond friendship anyway.

She was very attatched to Ash, who had become her best friend, and to Garrus who she loved like a brother, even to Wrex who had taken an almost fatherly approach to her. She adored Joker's playful sarcasm, and sometimes she adored him for more than that, but simply pretended she was imagining it. Tali had fast become a friend to the Commander, since they both loved mechanics, engines and similar - that was what had led the Commander to be an engineer. She got along well with all the crew, from the soldiers, to the engineers, and even the medic. She even liked Liara, despite the fact the asari had had a bit of a crush on the Commander at first - a crush Shepard had soon put a stop too, since it wasn't in her nature to, well, be attracted to such feminine people.

So this all whirled over in her head as she walked down the corridor, around the large stature that was the galaxy map, through the shifting door, down a small curved flight of stairs and finally paused at the elevator. She reached out her delicate hand to touch the button to open the doors, but found they opened automatically, and Garrus gave the Turian version of a smile to her from where he stood in the elevator.

"Commander. I was just coming to see you." He stepped out of the elevator and turned so he could look at her, while still leaving enough room for her to exit if she wished.

"To see me?" The Commander repeated, raising an eyebrow in question. "Is something wrong, Garrus?" She couldn't take anymore bad news today, that much she knew.

"Well, no." The Turian replied rather sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "That's just it. We've been to all these strange worlds, had most of them blow up on us, faced down giant mutant plants, all manner of geth, chased an insane scientist who was harvesting human body parts from within, found ancient Krogan armor for Wrex, shot, blasted and fought our way through all manner of complex twists and turns, and now... well... lost Alenko... but everythings fine." He lifted his gaze. Hard, sharp, almost raven like eyes fixed on her. "Everything's fine." He repeated confidently.

The Commander frowned, trying desperately to get his manner of thinking through her head. "Everythings fine?" She repeated, feeling as if they were just going round in circles. "How can you say that, Garrus?" Her voice broke slightly, and she tried desperately to hide it, watching him much as a dissaproving guardian watches a small child who's just smeered banana all over the walls.

"Because I believe in you, Commander, and I know you'll get us through." Garrus nodded, no pause in his speach. He believed in her that much.

Shock passed over the Commanders face, but quickly faded and was replaced with a secure look of pleased happiness. "Garrus... thank you. It's nice to know someone is confident this mission will work out."

Garrus seemed to smile, the hardened pannels of his face twitching slightly near his eyes. "That's right." He reached up and ruffled her fringe. It had become a kind of custom for them, ever since they'd realized how like siblings they acted. Wrex and Ash had even gone as far as teasing them about the situation, saying things like 'a Turian brother? You can do better than that, Commander!'

The Commander laughed and took a slight step back, pushing his hand away playfully. "Oh! Between you and Joker, how am I ever supposed to have a bad day?" She laughed with joy, almost sarcastically.

Garrus merely chuckled, shrugged his well sculptured shoulders and leant over to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry, _dalninil_, everything will be fine. I know it will." He smiled, and soon strode off, marching up the stairs she had decended down.

The Commander smiled, feeling like a little girl all over again. It was the same feeling she got every time he called her 'dalninil', the Turian word for sister. It had started when he'd requested permission to call her lotha dalninil, which meant Little Sister, and she had a feeling that it would be the same til the day she died.

Smiling, feeling happier about the situation, confident that they could get through this and succeed, she stepped into the elevator, pushed the down button, and turned as she heard the doors slide closed. After the short journey down, she stepped out into the cold, still air of the garage.

Her smile increased. The garage of the Normandy was where she felt most at home. Usually it was where she, Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Ash hung out, so it was no wonder. Right now Tali was obviously off studying the Normandy's impressive engines, as she was absent, and Garrus had gone to the upper levels for reasons unknown, but Ash was over at her workbench, and Wrex was leaning against his locker nearby, arms crossed, eyes closed.

He was asleep. Like always. But somehow he possessed that remarkable ability to stay standing, and more so, to know when anyone approached him, since he always opened his eyes and put on a look much as if to say; _I was not sleeping!_

Denial. But Shepard always found it so amusing. Smiling, knowing the reaction she'd get, the Commander walked over to Wrex's post, keeping her movements as soft and gentle as possible to try and sneak up on him.

"Won't work, Shepard." Wrex's gruff, but well-humored voice said. When angry his tones got so deep that they almost seemed to shake the Normandy, but he wasn't angry at this moment, he was sounding almost pleased. One of his eyes opened and peered at the Commander with amusement. Soon enough he opened his other eye and turned his head to look at her. "So what's going down?" He blinked his blood coloured eyes.

The Commander paused before him and snapped her fingers as if to say _'Damn, and I was so close this time, too!'_ but she was evidently just joking around. When he asked his question, she merely shrugged. "Too much to explain, Wrex. Too much to explain..." She let her voice trail off and found herself staring at the lockers suddenly. Giving a shake of her head, she turned her eyes back to Wrex and forced a smile. "The Admiral's been riding my ass, trying to convince me we're doing this for _humanity_." She rolled her eyes and gave a shake of her head.

Wrex made a noise deep in the back of his throat that most would consider a laugh. "Pathetic. Still thinks he needs to bribe you. He doesn't know you like we do, Shepard."

"Is that an attempt to make me feel better?" The Commander chuckled softly. "You'd be the third one to try and succeed for a while." She joked lightly and slipped her slender hands into her pockets.

"No. I'm not trying to make you feel better, Shepard. If you want that, the Turian seems good at it. I'm just stating facts. You'll get us through, Shepard." Wrex stated rather matter-of-factly, giving the slightest shrug of his muscle packed shoulders.

The Commander quirked an eyebrow. "Wish I was as confident as everyone else seems to be." She chuckled gently and glanced at Ash from the corner of her eyes. The soldier was wrapped up in working at the nearby bench, but looked quite upset still. "Well... nearly everyone." The Commander added softly, unpocketed a hand and gave a slight wave to Wrex, before heading towards her best friend.

Wrex's goodbye was just a nod and a single word. "Shepard." And he soon closed his eyes again and went back to listening to the hum of the Normandy's engines.

Ash shifted uneasily on her booted feet and gave an agrivated sigh as whatever it was she was trying to fix fell apart in her hands.

"Need some help with that?" The Commander smiled as she paused by Ash, one hand on the work bench, eyes on the mess that had been created by Ash breaking things.

Ashley Williams lifted her head and looked at her friend. "Oh, hey Commander. No, no help needed. Just an extra arm or two required." She chuckled lightly and soon diverted her gaze back to the mess in her hands. "Ah. I just can't seem to concentrate right now. I guess... I guess I'm just feeling bad." She paused, frowning slightly. "I mean, I walked up to your quarters before to leave that mech manual you wanted in your room, and I couldn't... It just... seemed so wrong to see that Kaidan wasn't standing there, fiddling around with that comm like he always insisted on doing." She rolled her dark eyes as if remembering how annoying it had been to always see Alenko fiddling with that comm. "I had to turn around and come back down here." She set down what she'd been working on and reached for a nearby book, which she then handed to the Commander.

Shepard took it with a faint smile. "Thanks. Might help to take my mind off things." She sighed softly, and pushed aside some of the random junk on the table so she could sit down on the bench. "Williams... don't feel bad. It was my call to make, not yours, and I think I made the right choice."

"I just feel like... if it wasn't for me, for our friendship, Alenko would still be alive." Ash looked at the Commander. "Zal, I feel like I'm responsible for his death." She frowned, dark eyes worried. She really was feeling bad if she'd stepped down from calling Shepard 'Commander'. She usually only called the Commander by her real name when they were at the Citadel, drinking or flirting with random guys.

Being called Zal, her nickname for Zalora, made the Commander feel a bit better. She lifted her gaze and watched Ash, and for a while the two just frowned at each other. Zalora set down the mech manual and reached out a hand to give Ash's shoulder a squeeze. "I didn't want to lose the best friend I'd ever had, Ash, true. But I also had other reasons for not choosing Alenko..." She frowned and dropped her gaze.

Ash blinked and quirked an eyebrow. "Such as?" She asked questioningly.

"You don't need to worry." Zalora chuckled softly and jumped down from the bench. "I have to concentrate on keeping the crews morale up, and I can't do that by explaining why I let Alenko die." She shook her head and looked back at Ash with those beautiful eyes of hers.

Ash crossed her arms, looking determained. "Zal. I know you better than that. Somethings on your mind, and I want to know what." She barely seemed to blink, trying to stare the Commander into submission it seemed.

Zalora chuckled softly. "Maybe later, Ash. For now I feel like I've told the story a million times." She shook her head and looked up as the elevator doors opened and Garrus stepped out. The Turian walked over to his usual place by the mako.

Ash threw her hands up and gave a fake sigh of annoyance. "Again?! God, Zal, I thought I was your best friend? Now you go and talk to Vakarian and Joker more than me." She chuckled and flashed a small smirk the Commander's way.

"Ash, I didn't mean--" Zalora tried to interupt, but Williams interupted.

"Make it up to me." Ash smirked, hands now resting on hips. "Let's head to the Citadel and take the night off. You, me, and the whole crew. We'll reek havoc on the Citadel and show the council just how bad we can be." She laughed, and the Commander could see it would be no good trying to say no.

Zalora slowly began to smirk, then gave a laugh. "Well... it would do wonders for morale..." She nodded knowingly, thinking it through in her mind.

"You bet it would!" Ash laughed and gestured around to the few mechs hanging in the garage. "And it's always so much fun. We could catch up on some girl talks." She joked slightly, smirking.

"Okay." Zalora smirked at her friend. "We'll take a break at the Citadel. And that's an order."

Williams smirked and gave the Commander an all too fake salute. "Aye, aye, ma'me." Still smirking she turned back to her bench, ready to finish up her jobs so she could better prepare for the well deserved break.

Zalora turned to go, smirking still, and as she passed Wrex she heard him grumble. "Good call, Shepard," in approval. That boosted her confidence moreso, and with the thought of a night of freedom in mind, she took the elevator back up to the second level, and was soon bounding up the stairs back towards Joker's post. She treked down the corridor and paused beside his seat, opened her mouth to speak, but found he cut her off.

"I heard, Commander. I'll tell everyone now." Joker glanced at her sideways, and the Commander could see the bright smirk on his lips. She watched as he opened the comm links and soon had the word spread. Even from where they were at the front of the large vessel, she could hear the cheers of approval from the entire crew. Yes, R&R was just what they needed right now, and it would do everyone the world of good, she was positive. So confident that she didn't even mind that Joker had been listening in again.


	3. Chapter 3 Maybe He's More Than That

The crew of the Normandy had been let loose on the Citadel. Some had rushed off to visit family, others had gone to taste the liquor of Flux, while others headed to Chora's Den to see the latest entertainment. Ashley Williams and Zalora Shepard had found a place to stay, ditched their things, and soon found themselves heading towards Flux. Despite the fact they were both military, they looked nothing like it at this moment in time.

Ash was barely recognisable. She wore pale jeans with rips in the knees, tucked deep into her knee high black flat heel boots, a tight black tank shirt and a short black jacket over the top. More than a few whistles were aimed her way as she walked.

But it was nothing compared to the Commander. Ash was a tomboy, pure and simple, and the Commander was as well, but with more will to show off her legs. The Commander wore a slinky sexy silver to gray shirt, which drapped nicely to her tight black denim shorts. Her hair was loose, falling to about the length of her chest, with her fringe tucked nicely away, and black knee high army laceup boots held pride of place on her legs.

Nothing fancy with these two, but still they got more looks and whistles than most of the girls on the Citadel could ever imagine. They weren't too fond of it, but still, it was nice to know that their battle scars didn't detract from their appearances.

Soon enough they were walking up the ramp towards Flux. A couple of men passed them, leaving Flux, and whistled, but the girls ignored them.

"God, you'd think the men on the Citadel had never seen a woman before." Zalora chuckled and rolled her eyes lightly, smirking as she turned into Flux.

"Well, it is half true." Ash smirked, giving Zalora a wink. "They've never met women like _us_ before." She laughed joyously, and nodded to the bouncer at the door who seemed to have been distracted from his work as they walked in. Chuckling to themselves, they walked over to the bar, not surprised to see many soldiers about that they knew, but somewhat confused to see them looking so casual and carefree.

_Kaidan would have loved this..._ Zalora thought as they paused and leant against the bar. She sighed and looked down at the floor of Flux, remembering the static of the comm and Joker's voice rushing her into a decision. Why had he done that? She had known they had limited time, but the pilot had sounded so strained, so... scared?

Ash hadn't heard the sigh of her friend, since the loud music drowned out the faintest noises in Flux. She called the barkeep over and ordered two shots of the strongest liquor he had. Soon enough he returned, took the credits she passed him, and set down the shots. Ash nudged Zalora with her arm, smirked and picked up her shot glass. "Down it, then we'll get to dancing." She laughed, talking loud to make sure Zalora heard.

Zalora lifted her eyes to Ash and smiled. She wasn't as fond of the strong stuff as her friend, but she'd drink it to keep her happy. She picked her shot up, and in unison, the two downed their liquor. Zalora felt for a moment that she was going to choke, as strong ale seeped down her throat, but she soon set the glass down and sucked in a deep breath. Other than clearing her senses completely, she seemed fine.

Ash was smirking, and practically chucked her glass down. "Come on, let's party!" She called to Zalora and grabbed the Commander's hand. Williams dragged her friend onto the dance floor, and made their way into the crowd to join in. Without realizing it they were pulled into a small group of soldiers they knew, and joined in the dancing easily.

Williams wasn't the best dancer around. She'd been trained for combat, which left little to the imagination in the way she moved, but then again a lot of the soldiers around her were much the same way. She made it so she and Zalora were dancing close by, so they could shout a conversation. Even though they were yelling, no one else could hear, since the music was so loud. "So what's the deal?" Ash called over the noise of the crowd to Zalora, continueing to move to the music.

"With what?" Zalora shouted back, moving as though she'd been trained to dance. Her hair flung around her shoulders with every move she made, hips swaying, arms practically above her head as she danced. She loved dancing, it was the one thing other than fighting and fixing mechanical junk that she felt she was good at.

Ash laughed as if to say _Don't act like you don't know!_ "You know! Talking to the blokes instead of me about whats on your mind!" She called, and stepped aside a bit as a new dancer pushed past them.

"Sometimes I honestly can't tell the difference between the two!" Zalora laughed after she called it to Ash, and stepped closer to her friend so they wouldn't have to yell quite so loud. She was soon smirking jokingly. "No, I seriously don't know! Guess I'm just used to Joker listening in! It's like he already knows what's on my mind, so he's easy to talk too!" She called, now concentrating on the music more than her friend.

Ash was grinning and spun her hips to the music, lifting her hands as she stopped caring about what people thought about her moves. "You sure thats all?" She laughed to the Commander.

"Course! What else would it be?" Zalora called back, frowning slightly.

Ash laughed and was about to answer when a couple of men stepped up to them. One took Ash's hand and asked if she'd like to dance, and the other put a hand on Zal's back and gave a nod as much to say _Dance with me?_ The conversation was cut short there, as both girls found themselves facing away from each other, dancing with the men who'd suddenly appeared.

Ash was having a fantastic time, dancing and feeling free. She wasn't quite sure if it was her or the liquor though. Things had become so strange lately. She had a best friend, after all those years of practically being friendless (apart from her four sisters, of course), but sometimes she envied the Commander too. After all, the Commander could dance like a Goddess, all the guys seemed to fall for her, she had a high rank with the Alliance, more medals than Ash could count, and so much more. And yet, for all that, Ash felt sorry for the Commander too... She'd been orphaned, she'd been alone for so long, faced tremendous odds in numerous fights, and people were always telling her what to think. Plus she had to make such difficult desicions... _Poor Alenko..._ Ash thought, and frowned slightly, not realizing her mind had drifted from the dancing.

"Hey, cheer up! I'm not that bad a dancer!" The man she was dancing with called to her, smirking encouragingly.

And so Ash chuckled and pushed the thoughts from her mind.

Zalora danced with the man who'd approached her, laughing and smiling more than she remembered doing in a long time. Deep down inside her heart was breaking though, as memories forced themself into her mind. _How can you do that? Be so happy when so many people rot in the earth? Your family, people you claimed were friends, Kaidan..._ Zalora shook her head in an attempt to push the thoughts aside. Her mind allowed it, and slowly she remembered something else, words seeping back into her thoughts. _"I'd die for you, too. Any day of the week. And if I was Alenko... It's a choice I'd never regret."_ Joker had said that. Sweet, amazing and sarcastic Joker.

Zalora found herself smiling at the thought, and the man she danced with seemed incredibly happy that she'd cheered up, even if he hadn't commented on the moment she had looked miserable. _Sweet, amazing and sarcastic Joker..._

It seemed like hours later when Zalora and Ash finally broke away from the men and the other dancers, took each others hand and struggled out of the crowd. They were laughing in amazement that they'd ever been able to find their way out of the flock of dancers and soon took seats at the bar, smirking and laughing.

"Wow, talk about amazing. My legs are still shaking!" Ash laughed, still talking quite loudly due to the music. She waved down the barkeep and ordered them a couple of real drinks before looking back at Zalora. "Yours was a handsome one." She smirked, dark eyes laughing.

Zalora laughed. "Oh, yeah. Yeah he was." She smiled, but she was watching the bar and playing with a coaster that rested there. "Didn't say much though. I like guys who aren't afraid to speak their mind." She smirked and looked up at Ash as the barkeep returned and set down some drinks for them.

Ash snickered and thanked the man before taking her drink. She took a sip and gave a sigh of pleasure, almost as if she'd been dying of thirst. After a few more sips she set it down and chuckled. "Guys who aren't afraid to speak their mind, hmm? Reminds me of someone." She was grinning by the time her eyes turned to Zalora.

Zalora was playing with the straw sticking out of her glass now, twisting it around her finger and watching the bubbles dancing around the liquid. She soon glanced at Ash from the corner of her pools. "Oh?" She tried to sound as though she wasn't following, though she had a pretty good idea who Williams meant.

"Oh? Is that it? Hah! Don't get like that, Zal. You know who I mean!" Ash grinned, teeth bright as they flashed between her lips. "Alliance Flight Lieutenant Jeff Joker Moreau." She said each word slowly, so the full impact would hit the Commander.

"Joker?!" Zalora couldn't help it, she just cracked up laughing. A nervous reaction, perhaps? She couldn't ever imagine Joker liking her, but deep down she had been hoping that was who Ash meant. _Why? Why did I want it to be him? Do I really want him to like me?_ She soon calmed herself down and looked up, noticing the two guys they'd been dancing with were leaving the crowd, laughing, and making their way to a table of their friends nearby. _He was all I was thinking about when I was dancing with that guy... He makes me smile, makes me laugh... It's just a deep friendship, that's all..._

"Yes, Joker." Ash smirked, confirming it. "You get that dreamy look on your face whenever you talk about him." She laughed and shook her head, almost as if she was about to mock the Commander.

"I do not..." Zalora looked as if she'd been slapped. "I don't know what your talking about." She turned back to her drink and took a long sip through the staw, watching the way it made the liquid dance about in the glass, just doing anything possible to try and avoid her friends eyes.

"Okay, okay, don't get all moody on me." Ash chuckled and put a hand on Zalora's arm. "Just think about it for a while. Or not. Those guys we were dancing with seemed to really like us... and their not Alliance." She was smirking, watching them over her shoulder.

"So that makes it okay?" Zalora said somewhat quietly, not looking up from the coaster she'd suddenly decided was so interesting.

"Makes what okay?" Ash looked back at her friend, hand still on Zal's arm. As the Commander looked up, Ash frowned. They'd both realized it at the same time. Kaidan was dead and they were forgetting about him already. "Oh..." Ash said as though she'd suddenly remembered, and frowned a bit, withdrawing her hand. "We haven't really talked about it properally, have we?"

"No... If you want to, we can leave now and talk about it. I mean, it might help. I talked to Joker about it before, so I guess I'm okay deep down." Zalora shrugged a bit, turning her eyes to stare into her drink.

"Joker? Let me guess, he had some sarcastic remark to make about it." Ash chuckled softly and rolled her dark eyes.

"No. What he said really got to me actually." Zalora shrugged, lips smiling ever so slightly as she remembered.

"What did he say?" Ashley was watching her friend now, seeming to realize it was something that had effected the Commander deeply.

Zalora sighed a bit and took the straw out of her drink. She sat it down beside the glass, and took a real swig of her drink then. Only once she'd set the cup down again did she reply. "He said, 'I'd die for you, too. Any day of the week. And if I was Alenko... It's a choice I'd never regret.'... And it made me feel a bit better." She said quietly, and paused for a second. She soon turned her eyes to her friend. "Is that stupid?"

Williams watched Zalora and listened as she spoke. She smiled a little, and shook her head. "Not at all. He's right. I'd die for you too, Zal, and I'd never regret that choice. I guess we just have to keep thinking of it that way, to know Alenko's okay." She shrugged a bit and then looked at her drink. After a pause of her own, she said; "He's with God now." Her voice was quiet and hushed, much in the same way she'd once said that her father was with God now.

Zalora nodded and picked up her glass. Ash had done the same, and they tapped them together, the glasses clinked, and they drank a silent toast to that thought. The Commander soon set her drink down, having decided she'd had enough of the strong liquor.

Ash drained her drink, and soon set the empty glass down. For a while they were silent, staring across the room, or just focusing on the surroundings. The crowd of dancers had grown since it was getting later - they could guess it was about ten by now, and that meant the late night crowd were about. The room was full of people drinking, and a few trying to converse over the noise of the music. The bouncer stood ready, keeping his eyes open and aware, but obviously hadn't had much trouble that night. The alien barkeep was wiping down the counter where he poured the drinks, and a few waitresses were skattered about, taking orders or carrying trays. It was havoc, and Zalora couldn't help but think she'd prefer to be on the Normandy, all on her own, tonight.

The quiet hum of the hyper drive and engines, the cold thick walls and the large open spaces. Digital beeps and clicks in the background, the star spangled sky around them, the console showing all the details of the Normandy... the console. The console that Joker was in charge of. Was that why she loved the Normandy so? Because in a way, it was Joker...

Zalora soon stretched a bit, and voiced what she'd been thinking out loud for Ash to hear. "He's a good friend, Joker is." She nodded a bit, knowing it was just a statement, and not expecting a reply from Ash.

Ashley took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "Yeah." She nodded slowly, then looked back down at her empty glass. She was silent for a moment, but all too quickly glanced at the Commander out of the corner of her eyes. "But then again, maybe he's more than that."


	4. Chapter 4 A Mother Knows

It had been a long time since Joker had been on the Citadel. A very long time. He'd practically grown up on the Arcturus Station, which was where the Flight School was, and it was the area his mother worked at the time, too. But in recent years his mother had moved to the Citadel, and was now living out her days as a receptionist by daylight and a civilian by night.

Before she'd moved there, the Citadel had practically been his home. He'd loved the streets, the people, the variety of aliens you were destined to meet just by going grocery shopping, and of course, the secrets the Citadel had thrilled him more than anything else. He'd spent all his off hours there, living contently with a good home and a good job. But now that his mother was there it just seemed like a reminder, and not a good one at that.

You see, Joker had been the best pilot at his Flight School. Better even than half of the instructors, and they all knew it. But that hadn't stopped anyone from treating him differently, or from teasing him outright. To them, instructors and students, he'd always been the sickly little kid with the creaky legs. He didn't blame his mother for it - no way. He loved her. If it wasn't for her, he probably never would have attended the school or found out where his calling in life lay. He just wasn't too good at showing her he loved her, though. Despite how much he cared about his mother, she still reminded him of the life he'd led at that school, and he was determained to forget all that.

And all that was why he hadn't visited her in so long. But now he felt like it was his responsibility. After all, his father had passed away a little over two years ago and as far as Joker knew, she'd been alone since. And he was kind of on the Citadel anyway, with nothing much to do, so he figured... why not?

Crutches and all, he made his way through the Citadel, walking - well, hobbling - as though he knew the path well. He passed people he thought he'd once known, but didn't pause to converse. He walked past his old home, and didn't even bother glancing at the front door. None of it mattered anymore. He just wanted to get off his legs, and get to the safe zone, as he figured.

Soon enough he was standing before a door, resting on his crutches, taking deep breaths and trying to decide what he was going to say. _'Uh... hi mom. Sorry I haven't visited in a while, but life is hell at the moment, you know?'_ _Smooth._ With a shake of his head he resigned himself to his fate, decided to make it up as he went along, and lifted a hand to knock on the door.

"Jeff?" The voice sounded surprised, but warm and affectionate.

_What the?_ Joker frowned, looking at his hand, suspended before the door. He hadn't even knocked. Senses returning, he turned his head to see where the voice had come from, and couldn't help but smile.

His mother stood there, slightly graying brown hair tied neatly in a bun, blue eyes dark and warm, slight creases on her otherwise kind face. She looked stunned, much as he had a few seconds before, but the happiness glowing behind the surprise was almost overwhelming. She rushed up to him as quickly as an elder woman could, and embraced him into a tight hug. "Oh, your home!"

Joker would have replied, but found it quite difficult to do while being practically strangled by his over eager mother. "Mom-- air... Can't breath!" He tapped her shoulder and tried to break free.

She must have realized she was being a bit too over happy, because she suddenly released him and held him by his shoulders, smiling at him with pride. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so glad to see you!" She laughed, weathered lips breaking into an even wider smile. "Come on in!" She brought a key out of her pocket, unlocked the door and marched into her home happily.

Joker followed slowly on his crutches and closed the door behind him. He was pretty much silent, trying to catch up on the air he'd missed. When he finally regained his lungful, he spoke. "Nice place, mom. Comfy looking." He chuckled and watched her carefully.

His mother was rushing about, trying to clean up in a rush, and he could guess she'd only just finished work and arrived home. She kept saying 'What a mess! Oh, just let me tidy up so you can sit down!' and shoved papers in draws, picked up a stray coat that had been hanging on the back of a chair, and opened a window or two to let some fresh air in. Only once she was convinced she had improved her homes veiw, did she return to him. She gave him another, albeit softer, hug. "Oh, Jeff! Its been so long! How are you? You look so well! Well, you'd look better without the beard of course, but it is your life." She chuckled happily, and he could tell their was more than one thing on her mind as she spoke. She went on in that vein for some time, talking about her home, the happenings of the neighbors, the weather, how pleased she was with his appearance, and how she'd heard all about the great things he'd been doing off some friends in the Alliance.

By the time she'd finished, and finally paused to breath, Joker was shifting uneasily on his legs, feeling the need to sit down.

"Oh, dear!" She'd cried then. "Oh, how stupid of me, Jeff dear, come sit down and rest your legs!" She half led, half pulled him to the dining table nearby, and Joker took a seat, laying his crutches safely on the ground where he knew she wouldn't trip over them or anything. After all, he'd always been in trouble as a child for leaving them where people could trip on them, but that hadn't been his fault, had it?

Joker looked around the home, admiring the veiw out the windows, and the choice of furniture about. Now that he was there he was having trouble coming up with anything to say, so he'd pretty much decided in his head to let her do the talking. Only, she was silent now. So he looked at her. And she was looking back at him, perched at the edge of her chair, twisting her hands and smiling almost nervously. She gave a bit of a laugh as their eyes met. "So! Tell me, how are things? How's your job? Got yourself a nice boss? Haven't been hurt have you?" All the usual questions.

Joker wanted to groan, since he'd suddenly realized he was going to have to answer the questions now, but he held it back and just shrugged instead. "I'm fine mom. Honestly, so you can stop looking at me like that." He chuckled and shook his head slightly, tracing a pattern on the table with a finger tip. "Yeah. Everythings fine. I haven't been hurt, ah, my jobs good - still the pilot of the Normandy, although, if you ask me, I'm pretty much in charge of it." He chuckled jokingly and looked away from her for a while. "My boss was Captain Anderson, but he's left just recently and left the Commander in charge. She's a great boss, though, so I'm not complaining." He chuckled to himself, shrugged and looked back at his mother.

"Oh? A woman for a boss?" His mother chuckled in amusement. "Didn't think you'd ever take orders from a woman, Jeff." She smirked a little, the same kind of smirk Joker had, so there was no doubt she was his mother.

Joker chuckled, bright teeth flashing. "Okay, yeah, I admit it. I didn't like her so much at first, but now..." _Now what? I love her? We're great friends? I worry about her constantly? Yeah, that's great. That's why I'm here now, mom, because it beats sitting around on the Normandy wondering who she's off having fun with. It beats thinking how jealous I am that she's off partying somewhere while I'm - yes me, the cripple, the guy who's fallen for her, who worries for her constantly - watching my life fly by... _He shook his head a little and took his hat off to run his fingers through his hair. Dropping his hat on the table, he merely shrugged, and didn't bother to finish saying what it was he'd started.

"Now... what?" His mother asked quietly, watching her son carefully. If it made him take his hat off, the hat he'd refused to be parted from pretty much all through puberty, then she realized it had to be something pretty bad.

Joker took a deep breath, trying to figure it all out. "Now... I think I could be getting into something that's too big for me. I mean, Kaidan's dead all of a sudden, the Commander tells me she didn't really love him, I'm confused and... and the Turian is telling me all this stuff about the Commander I didn't even know. It just makes me like her more." He shook his head, barely realizing what he was saying or who he was saying it too. He sighed slightly. "But then I just keep hearing this rule over and over in my head, about the whole Crew Fraternization thing..." He suddenly realized what he'd said and he risked a glance at his mother. She was frowning. Joker just sighed. "I'm sorry, mom... I dunno what I'm thinking, anymore." He shrugged uneasily.

His mother smiled slightly and reached a hand across to touch his shoulder. "Jeff, I don't mind. Tell me what's going on, and I'll see if I can help. Let's start at the beginning. First of all, what's this Commanders real name - it would be much nicer to know the name of the girl whom my boys fallen for, rather than her rank." She chuckled softly.

Joker felt the warmth of her hand on his shoulder and smiled to himself. He'd missed that. He'd been away so long that he'd forgotten what it was like to have someone you could count on no matter what. He sighed a bit and listened to what she had to say. When she'd finished he just went quiet for a moment, but finally, smiling to himself, he said it; "Zalora. Her name is Zalora..."


	5. Chapter 5 Almost Like A Sleepover

Ashley couldn't stop laughing. Sitting cross-legged on the floor of the apartment she and Zalora had claimed for the night, a warm heater blazing into the room, bowls and packets of lollies and biscuits and marshmellows strone about while they drank some sort of wine they'd brought on their way back from Flux, lights dim as they told stories from their past.

Both had changed into their pajama's, and for once, neither seemed too high on the military - they didn't care that it was almost 12pm and they'd be over-tired tomorrow, nor that they would have terrible hangovers, or that they would probably be off fighting for their lives, no. That was all in the future, and they didn't care - they'd made a deal to live for the now.

At first it had been somber and sad, with Zalora telling the story of how she lost her family, then how she struggled to survive, and the fact she'd lost many friends. She talked of her battles, and it all ended with the loss of Kaidan and the grief she felt over it. Ashley did the same, speaking of her battles, her dead family and friends, and terrible things that had happened, and in the end they'd both tried to cheer each other up.

With the aide of the wine, they ended up telling more humerous stories, breaking into catchy songs they'd heard over the years, and sharing their deepest secrets. More than once they spoke of things they'd heard about Kaidan, and claimed it was a way to honor his memory.

"You know," Ashley suddenly said, pouring herself another glass of wine. Well, she poured the wine into one of the funny cups they'd chosen to use, anyway, since neither were dainty enough to use real wine glasses. "it's kind of sad."

"What is?" Zalora asked, sprawled out on her stomach, munching on a marshmellow.

"We dedicate ourselves to the military. We fight for humanity, defend the people who can't defend themselves, we fly through space to travel to worlds most of us don't even know exist!" Ashley shook her head, her dark hair falling about her shoulders as she did so. She pulled it back into a ponytail as she continued. "And then we die, and all we get for it is a little message sent to our families saying we died tragically but for the right reasons." She sighed and swirled her drink about her cup, leaning back on one hand. "Most of the time there isn't even enough pieces left of the dead for the families to see." She suddenly took a long swig of her drink.

Zalora was pulling little bits off her marshmellow and eating it slowly, listening. "Your right... They deserve better than that." She sighed.

"And so do we!" Ash said, nodding suddenly. "So I promise, if you die in the course of this mission, Zal, I'll make sure people remember you. I'll make sure everyone knows you died for the right, no, the _best_ reasons!" She smiled slightly, determination in her eyes. Zalora could tell it was important to her friend.

Zalora smiled back and put down her marshmellow. "And I promise the same for you." She held out her hand. "Pinky promise."

The two twisted their pinkies together and swore the oath, laughing strangely as they took their hands away. For a while they just laughed, told some pathetic jokes, and ate some more candy. Finally, after taking a sip of her drink and beginning to suck on a lollypop, Zalora commented. "I wonder where everyone else is tonight."

Ash chuckled. "Bet Captain Anderson turned in early. You know, the way old men do?" She snickered, trying to hide it behind a hand.

Zalora laughed at the thought. "What? In a nightcap and one of those all in one old-man dressing gowns?" She didn't bother hiding her laughter.

Ash cracked up at the mental image, and had to put her drink down for fear of spilling it everywhere. "Oh! What about Liara? Probably curled up somewhere with a book about Prothean technology, and ended up falling asleep sucking her thumb." She laughed and shook her head. It was no secret she didn't like the Asari.

Zalora laughed. "I don't know about that. I do know Garrus went to visit his father - should have been a fun filled visit since he wouldn't be too thrilled with Garrus leaving C-Sec." She chuckled and shook her head, taking her lollypop out of her maw for fear of choking on it in laughter.

Ash smirked, her dark eyes suddenly seemed so bright. "We should have invited Tali along tonight. Would have been weird as to see her in jeans and a tank top, with that helmet to complete the ensemble!" She laughed and shook her head, trying to calm down as best she could and picked up a chocolate of some kind. "Ah, all my hard training and work out is going to be blown in this one night of pigging out." She chuckled, but didn't seem to mind.

Zalora chuckled and gave her lollypop a lick. "Do you remember what it was like to be a real person? Able to eat what you wanted, not having to stick to a diet so you'd always be in shape?"

"Able to sleep in a real bed?" Ash added, nodding.

"Allowed to sleep in!" Zalora laughed, smiling at the thought.

"And with who you want. No orders, or regulations." Ash snickered.

Zalora smirked, quirking an eyebrow. "Oh? You fancy someone, do you?" She chuckled questioningly, watching her friend.

"Ooo, truth or dare is it?" Ash laughed, swinging her legs sideways so she was practically sitting on them. "Well... yeah. But it's just a little crush. I mean, I know the rules, Commander. Fraternization is out." She chuckled and gave a somewhat _oh well_ sigh.

Zalora went quiet and smiled slightly, sadly, at the thought. "Yeah. I wonder... You know, I wonder if it is possible to fall in love with someone so deeply that you'd actually consider leaving the military?" She was just thinking out loud, pulling at the label on the bottle of wine they had as she did so.

"I dunno, Zal. All I know is the military is my life, and I won't leave it for any man, woman or child. No matter how much I love them." Ash smiled, watching her friend. "And that's the kind of men I like, anyway. The type for who the military will always come first, well, and maybe me a little too." She chuckled.

Zalora smirked and looked at Ash. "Name?"

"Salem. Salem Foster." Ashley chuckled, smirking slightly as she did so, cheeks just a little pinker than usual. "He was only with our crew for a few days before he was transfered to Sector 8, but man... even his five o'clock shadow was hot!" She cracked down laughing.

Zalora laughed and shook her head. "Salem was my brothers name." She sighed, took a sip of her drink, and then added jokingly. "Your pathetic when it comes to men." She couldn't help but smile though. "All they have to do is shoot, smirk, and have a rough streak, and you consider them." She smirked knowingly at her friend.

Ash shrugged, giving a crooked smile. "Hey, I need something to dream about at night. So come on, you know my type, now what's yours?" She chuckled, picking up a marshmellow for herself as she did so.

_My type?_ Zalora thought, and suddenly had to think. "You know... I don't really know. I never really had any boyfriends growing up, and forgot all about it after my family were... you know. I've been with the military since, and never really given it much thought."

"Hey, wait up--" Ash butted in. "--Are you like... you know? Umm... _new_ at this game?" She quirked an eyebrow, a half eaten marshmellow in hand.

Zalora gave a coy smirk. "You mean am I a virgin?"

"That's the one." Ash chuckled, glad to see her friend wasn't freaking out. She liked to think they trusted each other that much.

"No." Zalora chuckled. "Unfortuantly I got a little too drunk once and a guy I didn't know very well made sure I'd never be considered a virgin again." She smiled a bit as she remembered and soon shook her head.

"Oh my God, you mean a guy took advantage of you?" Ash was frowning. "I'd have kicked his ass from here to Uranus." She was only partially joking.

"Hey, no, nothing like that. I was just too drunk, and didn't know what I was doing. He'd had a few too. Anyway, I didn't hold it against him. Woke up the next morning, in his bed, naked and feeling like shit - hungover and more. Got up, dressed in a hurry, and ran for my life. I don't even remember what he looked like." Zalora chuckled and twisted the end of her lollypop straw so it would be straighter.

Ash chuckled and shook her head a little. "And other than that?"

"No, that was enough." Zalora chuckled. "I didn't remember it at all, but I decided then that if I was ever going to be with someone like that again... I'd want it to be someone I really loved." She smiled happily, not looking directly at Ash.

Ashley was smiling, happy to see her friend looking so content. "Yeah..." She couldn't help it though. "Pity Joker can't really--"

"Hey!" Zalora yelped as though she'd been stung by a very large bee. "How'd he get into this?" She laughed.

"Oh come on, Zal. I told you who I like, you owe me the same. You do like him, don't you?" Ash questioned before chomping the remainder of her marshmellow and stretching out on her side.

"Well..." Zalora began to blush, twisting her lollypop between her fingers. "I do like the way he makes me feel. He makes me laugh, and cheers me up, but that could just be because he's always there, you know?"

"Oh God, do I know!" Ash nodded. "I feel so sorry for him sitting alone in the mainframe all the time that even I'm tempted to go and talk to him." She laughed. "And that, is sad."

Zalora smiled at her friend. "Well... I don't feel sorry for him. He makes his own fun. He watches whats going on around the Normandy, listens in to most conversations... You know he's like a video camera all on his own." She chuckled and shook her head.

Ash sat up a little. "Wait, wait, watches what goes on around the Normandy? There aren't any cameras in the showers, are there?" She was frowning, obviously a step away from having her fingers crossed.

"Nope. No cameras there." Zalora chuckled, and watched as Ash sighed in relief. "There are in the changing room though." She added, smirking. Ash looked white as a ghost.

"Why did no one tell me?" Ash shook her head, but it wasn't a question she expected an answer too. They went quiet for a while, and finally Ash said. "So what are you going to do?"

"About what?" Zalora asked, trying to get a red jelly bean out of the thousands upon thousands of other coloured ones.

"Joker." Ash shrugged, giving a single blink.

"What about him?" Zalora looked at Ash, triumphantly holding a red jelly bean as she did so.

"Oh come on, I thought we'd settled on this. You like him! So what are you going to do about it?" Ash chuckled, getting a little annoyed with going around in circles.

"First of all, I never said I liked him as anything more than a friend. Second, even if I did, he'd probably be repulsed by the idea. And third, the Regulations mean we could never be more than friends anyway, even if I wanted that, which I so don't." Zalora said stubbornly.

Ash could see it was no good trying to get around it. She could see something was forming between the pilot and her friend, but even if she had kept digging for closure, Zalora was right - the Regulations forbid it, and there were very good reasons for it too, so Ash wasn't going to muck around with it. She sighed, and reached out to snatch Zalora's red jelly bean, which she popped in her mouth with a smirk.

Zalora looked heartbroken, but her lips twitched into a smirk and she laughed. "Oh, eat my jelly bean and face the consequences, fend. You are so going to suffer now!" Laughing, she threw her pillow at Ash, and the resulting pillow fight could have lasted all night.


	6. Chapter 6 The Next Day

Joker had been the first back to the Normandy the next morning. He'd found staying at his mothers home comfortable for the night - they'd talked, and she'd explained a few things to him, helped him get a grip on the situation he'd suddenly found himself in and so on. They'd also caught up on all that missed information about each others lives, and made their peace. Eventually, exhausted, she'd allowed him to stay in the spare room over night. He'd awoken the next morning to find she'd gone to all the trouble of cooking a full breakfast - he was grateful, since the Normandy's food wouldn't win any prizes, and they talked again while eating, basically saying their goodbyes and promising to stay in touch. Not long later she'd had to go to work, but said he could stay as long as he wished.

Joker had known the Normandy wasn't due to leave until the afternoon, but he'd felt uncomfortable alone in her apartment, and so he'd soon wandered back to the ship. He'd figured he was first back as soon as he saw the empty ship, and so he'd made himself comfortable in the Mess, sitting at the large table with a soda can in front of him and a comic book sprawled on the table, waiting for others to return.

He had no idea how long he'd been alone, thinking about the Commander, reading the comic for a few cheap laughs, or even how long his soda had been sitting there getting warm, when he suddenly heard one of the doors to the second floor slide open, followed by soft footsteps decending the stairs. He wasn't worried. He knew it was probably just some engineer come back early, heading down to the garage, or even Doctor Chakwas - she was always early - or even just one of the other members of the crew coming back to get settled before the rush hour.

Never had he imagined that it would be the Commander. She was basically in her uniform, but her shirt wasn't done up properally and revealed quite a bit of her coller bone and such. She was absently scooping her hair into a ponytail, and hadn't yet noticed Joker.

He took a somehow silent, and yet sharp breath and tried desperately to look back at his comic, or the table, or anywhere except her, but failed. God, she was beautiful, even though she looked tired. He felt a pang of jealousy as he realized she looked tired. _Of course. What did I expect? She was probably up all night partying or--..._ He cut that thought off and shook his head.

"Hey Commander." Joker said, giving a shrug in her direction and smirking slightly, trying to hide his dissapointment. "Your back early. What happened? The Citadel pull out some warrant about crew parties? Bet you trashed the entire Wards." He joked, gave a soft chuckle, and looked back to his comic.

Zalora looked up in surprise. "Joker?" She hadn't expected anyone to be back so early. She'd been hoping to catch up on some z's while no one was around, but it looked like it was time she could spend with the Normandy's pilot instead. She slipped into the chair across the table from him, smiling a bit. "Oh, no, sorry to dissapoint, but the Wards are still intact." She snickered a little, glancing at the comic he read.

"Oh man, and here I was hoping I could get some time off while you were on trial." Joker smirked playfully, smirking but not lifting his gaze.

Zalora chuckled, watching him, wanting to ask if something was wrong but not daring too. She soon got up and turned to get a drink for herself off the nearby counter. "So how was your night?" She asked over her shoulder, not looking his way as she found herself a soda.

"Oh, you know." Joker glanced up quickly, shrugging. "Pretty good, I guess. Hung out with my mom for a while. Catching up on all that old person stuff." He smirked. "The rate I'm going a premium retirement home is looking good." He snickered, obviously joking.

Zalora chuckled and was about to comment when Ash stumbled down the stairs, groaning and holding her head. "Ah, and here we are. The living dead." The Commander laughed lightly, shaking her head at Ash. "I told you that strong stuff would do your head in."

Joker looked at Williams and quirked an eyebrow. "Doesn't _leave_ mean you're allowed to stay away from the fights." He smirked and watched the soldier.

"For your information--" Ash stumbled over to the Commander and poured herself a strong mug of coffee, forgetting to put sugar in as she took her cup and sat down in the chair Zalora had left vacant. "--this was not an act of war. Just alcohol." She groaned and held her head as though it was about to fall off.

Zalora chuckled and took her soda and a small bowl of sugar over to the table, taking a new seat beside Joker. "Raw caffine will make it worse. Like some sugar?" She picked up the spoon as an offering.

Ash nodded slowly. "Thanks." She pushed her cup towards Zalora and the sugar while watching Joker. "So what are you doing back here, fly boy? Aren't you supposed to be off partying like the rest of the crew?" She winced at the word 'partying', but couldn't figure out how that effected her head pain.

Joker replied slowly, smirking, but watching Zalora out of the corner of his eyes - she was scopping up sugar and putting it in Ash's cup, spoon after spoon, smirking to herself. He could tell she was doing it to give Ash a not-so-nice surprise, and he had no doubt that the coffee would be incredibly sweet once Ash finally realized what the Commander was doing. "Yeah, the Alliance keep a close watch on me. Don't want to lose the best pilot they've ever known, right Commander?" He smirked in Zalora's direction.

Zalora looked surprised that he'd noticed her, and slowly took the sugar spoon away and pushed it aside, smirking all too innocently. "Whatever you say, Lieutenant."

Ash nodded, obviously so hungover that she hadn't clued into the Commander calling Joker Lieutenant. She took her coffee back and brought it to her lips to drink, took a sip and choked on the sweet bitter sugary taste. "Ugfgh! Zalora!" She spat and stuttered, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth.

Zalora laughed. "Sorry. Couldn't help it." She merely smirked and took a sip of her drink.

Ash growled, eyes narrowed, at the Commander. "I'll get you for that. But right now I have to go chop my head off." She stumbled to her feet, deserted the coffee on the table and stalked away, wobbling ever so slightly with each step she took. Soon enough they heard the elevator doors slide open, and then closed, and the descending noise of Ash going down to the garage.

Zalora chuckled. "Ah well. She'll get me back sooner or later." She said aloud, more to herself than anything, and took another sip of her soda.

Joker nodded, eyes focused on her, and soon said. "So what did you get up to last night, Commander?" He was desperate to know, but tried to sound under-eager.

The Commander chuckled. "You know, Joker, no one else is around, and technically I'm not your superior right now, so I think you can get away with calling me by name." She smirked at him, then gave a shrug. "Went out to Flux with Williams. Had a few drinks, danced a bit, then headed home and basically had a slumber party." She laughed a little and shook her head. "As you can see, I didn't drink as much as she did." She smirked in triumph.

Joker's heart rate increased slightly. "Okay, Co-- I mean, Zalora." He found himself smirking in joy at being able to call her by name. "Sounds like a fun filled evening. So, just you and Williams, right?" He was just checking, wanting to be sure that he didn't have any competition really.

"For the most part. Flux was crowded - you can expect to see a lot of hungover soldiers today." Zalora chuckled and crossed her legs as she leant back in her chair. "Any messages while we were on leave?" She shrugged, just wondering if he'd checked.

Joker blinked his dark eyes. "Jeeze, I'm the best pilot in the Alliance, but I still forget to check answering machines." He joked, flashing his bright teeth in a smirk.

The Commander laughed and gave his shoulder a slight push as if to say 'don't get cocky, boy!' "I was actually being serious." She smirked and rolled her eyes at his playfulness.

"So was I." Joker simply smirked back. "I didn't think anyone would be back for a while, Co-- sorry, old habits die hard. I didn't think anyone would be back for a while, Zalora, so I didn't check. Figured I'd leave all that destined for bad news crap for later, after the drunks return." He chuckled and closed his comic book. "I can do it now, if you think its important." He reached for the crutches he'd leant against the table, almost standing.

Zalora reached and grabbed hold of his sleeve. "Hey, desperate to get away or something?" She chuckled and shook her head. "No, it can wait. Suppose most of them will be from your admiring public, anyway." She smirked sarcastically, watching as he sat back down.

Joker grinned. "You know it. Then again, you know how it is, I suppose. Your a War Hero, after all." He chuckled, his laugh husky and thick. "You'll never compete with the best pilot in the Alliance, though."

"Oh yeah, boy?" Zalora smirked, giving him another playful shove. "I may not know how to fly a ship like you do, but I bet even if I did, I wouldn't crash half as much as you." She teased.

Joker shook his head. "I've never crashed, Commander. Hell, I've saved your pretty little ass more than once, _ma'me._" He hadn't taken it as a joke at all. He found it hard to joke about the one thing in life he had pride in.

"Hey, Joker, come on, I was teasing." Zalora said calmly, frowning slightly. "Lighten up. I didn't mean any offense." She quirked an eyebrow. "And cut out that ma'me and Commander stuff, will you? I told you, I'm not your superior right now."

Joker sighed. "Yeah, sorry. It's a touchy subject. When someone makes fun of the only thing your good at, most people tend to get riled. But then again, you wouldn't know, would you. You're good at everything you do." He looked away from her, almost in annoyance.

"No, I'm not." Zalora shook her head and leant on the table a bit. "Where'd that idea come from?"

"You survive every fight you get pulled into, Zalora. You defuse bombs, unlock weapon caches, can shoot any gun you pick up, you've repaired the Mako a million and one times, helped Pressley with the navigation shit, saved more soldiers than I can count, and... well... just everything you do you do naturally. You never complain." Joker looked back at her. "See. Again, the pilot is right."

"The pilot is not right." Zalora gave a slight smirk and twisted his hat around playfully, so it would face backwards, in an attempt to get his good mood back. "I'm just a good soldier, that's all. Put me in real life scenarios, and I suck."

Joker didn't bother fixing his hat. He shrugged at her. "I've heard all about the stuff you've done on the Citadel, Zalora, all the people you've helped with every day problems, from Asari to Krogans - don't tell me you ain't good at real life. You are."

Zalora sighed and shook her head. "Okay. You got me. I'm good at solving problems, blasting people who won't let me solve problems, and working for credits, but what about the normal everyday stuff? I know none of that. You had a normal life, Joker. I envy that." She blinked her baby blues and watched him seriously.

Joker stared at her. "And you've got legs that work. I envy that." He said stubbornly, leant on the table and used his crutches to stand. He soon went off, and she heard him making his way up to the pilots pit.

Zalora simply sighed. She'd known he had something on his mind, she should have just come out and asked him about it. Now there was a strain between them, and she didn't like it, but she couldn't think of a way to solve it. She got to her feet, thinking about how well they worked compared to Joker's, put the sugar away, poured Ash's leftover coffee down the nearest drain, and with her half-empty soda in hand, went into her quarters to think.

It was about three hours later when, laying on her back on her bed staring at the ceiling, there was a buzz at her door. Zalora lifted her gaze and said "Come in" aloud for whoever to hear. The door slid open, and the Turian she called brother stepped in.

Garrus walked over to her silently, since he'd long since gotten used to treating her as a sister. He didn't say a word as he sunk down on the bed beside her, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling that she found so fascinating. "Want to hear all the latest news?" He muttered, not looking her way.

Zalora sighed in content, looking at her Turian brother sideways. "All depends if it's good or bad news, Garr."

"A little of both, and I can't honestly tell in some of the bits." He still didn't glance at her. He continued, not waiting for a comment on her part. "First of all, my father's pissed off. Badly. Thinks I did the wrong thing in leaving C-Sec. No big surprises there. Second, my mother decided to try and set me up with her neighbors daughter while I was there, and it ended on a very bad note--"

"Whoa, whoa, neighbors daughter?" Zalora proped herself up on one elbow. "This story I have to hear." She smirked a little.

Garrus looked her way and sighed. "It's not as amusing as it sounds, _dalninil_, but okay, to satisfy your curiosity..." He reached a hand up and rubbed one of his head spikes as though he was fast getting a migrain. "A Turian girl, about three years my senior, quite large built - could probably punch Wrex out, that should give you some idea of how large I'm talking..."

"Ouch." Zalora cringed as if feeling Garrus' pain.

Garrus nodded and continued. "Very, very... er... unattractive, I suppose you'd say." He blinked his blue eyes.

"Your longing to say ugly. I can see it." Zalora chuckled.

Garrus nodded in agreement. "Yeah, well, to put it simply, she was simply not my type. At all. And I may have been a little blunt in saying that to my mother... in front of this girl... and her mother too... It was like a world war had started in my parents living room." He put a hand over his eyes.

"So what'd you do?" Zalora asked, giving his shoulder a squeeze to help him relax.

"I let it go on for a while, you know, them yelling and such, and then legged it to the door. Stayed in my old C-Sec quarters over night, and snuck back here as soon as it was light enough to find my way. When do we leave the Citadel?"

"Four this afternoon. You have til then to set things right." Zalora chuckled.

"Or until then to hide." Garrus sighed and shook his head, uncovering his eyes as he did so. "So anyway, I got back here, checked in with Joker - who is in a really foul mood for some reason - and found out some strangely odd news."

"Such as?" Zalora sat up, crossed her legs and stretched her arms, remembering that she was the cause for Joker's foul mood.

"C-Sec has assigned another officer to the Normandy." Garrus blinked, watching her. "A Turian."

Zalora froze. "Huh? They can't do that, I haven't agreed to it." She frowned and watched him, waiting to see if he was joking.

He shrugged from where he lay. "They weren't kidding, _dalninil_. They cleared it with the Council and left a comm-message for you - Joker had it, so go talk to him and he'll replay it for you to hear." Garrus blinked his blue eyes and sat up, leaning on his arms. "Another Turian... The crew dislikes me enough. And I don't exactly get along with other C-Sec agents." He rubbed his forearm a bit.

"Do you know who this Turian is?" Zalora frowned, climbing over him to get up and pull her boots on so she could go and check with Joker about this message. Foul mood or no, he'd still have to replay it for her.

"No. Nothing was said in the message. Hope it isn't anyone I dissapointed when I was working for C-Sec. That limits it down by a severe number." Garrus sighed and shook his head.

"I'm going to go check with Joker about this Turian buisiness, and if he doesn't have the answers, I'll go to C-Sec for it." Zalora said, pulling her first boot on.

Garrus blinked and gave a nod. "I'd offer to go to C-Sec with you, but I think I'll stay in the cover of night for a while. You know, until my mothers decided to put her rolling pin away." He was joking about that part of course.

Zalora chuckled, hopped a little as she pulled her second boot on, and then left her room to go and find out what was going on. She headed up the stairs, past the galaxy map and the few soldiers who'd returned, marched up the corridor and soon paused by Joker.

"Hey Joker, what's this message we recieved?" She didn't leave a pause between the greeting and the question, fearing his reaction. She tried to seem normal, but was tense inside thinking he was mad at her.

Joker said nothing, he just pushed a random button and didn't comment as the message played overhead.

_ Commander Shepard of the SSV Normandy. C-Sec Officer Denarvi Koshuth here. Just cleared it with the Council. We're deploying another Officer to your ship to help you out. We know you've got Vakarian already, but more than one pair of Turian hands never hurt. They'll be at the Docking Bay at exactly twelve, lunch time, today, for you to meet. Any problems can be reported to me here at the C-Sec Offices. Over and out._

Zalora listened, frowning. "Why the hell are they suddenly so eager to help us out?" She muttered to herself, and soon shook her head. Raising her voice to make sure Joker heard, she added. "What time is it?" She looked at him.

"Just gone eleven thirty." Joker said back without much emotion, paying close attention to everything he was doing on the console.

"Half an hour. Okay, I'll be at the C-Sec offices if you need me, trying to sort all this out." She turned to go.

"Wait." Joker said suddenly, and she turned to see him getting up with the aide of his crutches. "I'll come with you. Change of scenery will do me good."

"Are you sure?" Zalora asked, reaching a hand to try and support him as he stepped to stand beside her.

Joker nodded, and glanced at her carefully. "Sure. After all, flying can't be the only thing I'm good at." And from beneath the shade of his hat, he smirked.


	7. Chapter 7 A New Crew Member

Joker and Zalora made their way out of the Normandy, through the decontamination area, and down the walkway to the large elevator which would take them down to the C-Sec quarters. The doors opened automatically and Zalora stepped in, waiting for Joker to make himself comfortable leaning against the back wall on his crutches, before she pushed the elevator's button.

They watched the doors slide closed and the elevator began the long descent down to the C-Sec. They were silent all the while, despite the fact Zalora could see Joker wanted to apologise for his over reaction, but not nearly as tense as they had been. Once the elevator got going, Joker took a deep breath.

"Listen, Zalora, I'm sorry about the way I was acting." He looked at her from where he leant, and blinked his dark eyes. "I guess I'm just used to people having a go at me for my disease, thinking I'm worthless and all that. Most don't realize that thanks to modern technology I am a 'productive member of society'." He was clearly being sarcastic about the last part and rolled his eyes. He gave a slight shrug. "I shouldn't take it out on you though. Like I said... I'm sorry."

Zalora listened, leaning near the elevator pannel, and soon smiled. She moved to stand beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Joker... I know how you feel. Honestly, I understand. I mean, I may not know how it feels to have such a disease, but believe it or not, people treat me differently too." She shrugged, and cut him off in his thought. "I know it's not the same thing, Joker, but you have to focus on the good things in your life, rather than the bad." She blinked her baby blues and smiled at him.

"Like what?" Joker shrugged bitterly. "Other than flying the Normandy I have no life, Commander. Nowadays I can't even go down to the Wards, because people are always picking fights, and obviously my legs aren't on my side." He snapped sarcastically and dropped his head back against the wall. "Just once I'd like to know what it feels like to be normal."

Zalora frowned and gave a soft sigh as she leant against the wall beside him, watching the pannels go past as the elevator kept going down. Upbeat, annoying music played overhead. "Joker... you don't want to be normal." She shook her head. "Everyone out there who would consider themself normal, well... they're weak, petty, dishonest. Most commoners have some sort of bad streak that corrupts them, or they blame others for their problems and such."

"Not everyone's like that." Joker said quietly. "You're not like that."

Zalora turned her head to him, looking surprised, bright eyes frowning. "How do you know what I'm like?"

Joker turned his eyes to her, only just realizing that he was about an inch taller than her, no more. He blinked and shrugged slightly. "I've served with you long enough to know you're a good person. All the things you've done... well, none of it sounds like anything you've just described." He smiled a bit.

"That just proves I'm not normal... nothing else." Zalora sighed, and shook her head.

"But you don't want to be normal. Everyone out there who would consider themself to be normal are weak, petty or dishonest." Joker replied, smirking as he quoted her.

Zalora looked at him again, frowning deeply. "Joker--"

The pilot just shook his head and stared into her eyes. He felt like he could get lost in those blue pools, so bright and deep. Almost without realizing it he reached up a hand and touched her jaw. "Yeah, Commander? You're gonna tell me I'm right. Right?" He smirked slightly, not breaking eye contact.

Zalora had shut up having found herself staring into his eyes. So dark yet so full of life - she felt like she was being pulled in, as though he'd thrown her a lifeline with which she could hold onto in times of need. Was that what his jokes were? Was that what this was? A lifeline...

She leant closer to him without thinking, barely breathing, still staring into his eyes, but just as their lips were about to touch, the elevator doors slid open. They yanked apart like someone had thrown ice cold water on them, and without words, stepped out of the elevator and into the C-Sec quarters.

Taking a deep breath and avoiding her gaze, Joker commented. "So who was this guy you were going to meet?"

Zalora pushed her fringe behind her ears and shrugged, glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes, but obviously rather nervous now. "I'm pretty sure the last name was Koshuth, but I didn't catch the first na--"

"Commander. Nice to see you." A turian in a C-Sec uniform with a clip board tucked under one arm approached and held out a hand for her to shake. "Denarvi Koshuth. I suppose you're here to discuss the new agent for your ship?" He asked, a questioning look on his face.

Zalora reached out and shook his hand. It was warm and almost inviting in a way, and she instantly felt like this man was one she could trust. There was no hatred in his eyes, nor mistrust on his features - he was a rare example of an alien who trusted humans completely. "Yes. Yes, that's why we're here." Zalora nodded. "I'm Commander Zalora Shepard. This is Alliance Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau." She gestured to Joker once her hand was free.

"Ah, Joker." The Turian seemed to smile warmly and shook Joker's hand as well. "I've heard a lot about you. Wonderful pilot according to your boss." He chuckled huskily and soon looked back at the Commander. "So what's the problem, Commander?"

"Well, not a problem, as such, but we didn't request any new additions, sir, and your message has come as a bit of a surprise. Why the sudden devotion to our cause? C-Sec has never offered any opperatives before." She quirked an eyebrow.

"Ah, I understand. Perhaps it would be best for me to introduce you to our requsition officer..." Denarvi stated, touching his chin thoughtfully.

"We've already met--" Zalora began, but the Turian interrupted.

"Oh, no Commander, I didn't mean it that way. I mean he may be able to explain much better than I'm able too. After all, it was he who requested the transfer. Follow me please - we can talk to him right now." Denarvi gestured for them to follow him, and started off to the right of the elevator to the stair way that led down to the requisition officer.

Joker had remained quiet throughout the exchange, other than shaking the Turians hand of course, and he now shrugged at the inquisitive Commander, and moved on his crutches to follow the Turian. He didn't want to admit he was annoyed. The damn elevator rides were always so long, but if it had just been a little longer...

The Commander sighed, wanting to know what was going on, and still feeling slightly akward about almost kissing Joker, but followed the Turian never-the-less. Soon enough they found themselves standing before the golden toned Turian in charge of requisitions - actually they'd met before when the Commander purchased things from him, and she was rather fond of him, since he seemed quite intelligent and had a lovely smooth voice.

The golden hued Turian nodded a greeting to them, automatically pulled up their files on the screen, and listened to Denarvi's words asking him to explain what was happening. With a sigh, the requisition officer stood and stepped around his desk.

"Commander, my name is Cyiel-Ryven Zavigaa - oh, most call me Cy, for obvious reasons. I've been with C-Sec since I was fifteen." He shrugged his blades and leant against his desk a bit. "I was good friends with Garrus, even if I didn't always agree with his way of doing things. When he left, I didn't think much of it." He blinked his golden pools and rubbed a spike on his head gently. "You see... usually I'd turn to him for help, but since he's not at C-Sec anymore, I had to pull a few strings to solve this issue--"

"Could you perhaps tell us what the issue is?" Zalora questioned, getting a bit confused. She could see he was distressed about something or other.

The Turian sighed. "My sister. My sister Ellivi Zavigaa. Elli for short. She's... a mechanic... by trade." He seemed tense.

"You said that with difficulty. What aren't you telling us?" Joker cut in before the Commander had a chance.

"She works for the Shadow Broker." Cy winced. "My family tried to keep her out of it, but she's always been a bright girl. She's only young - but she's one of the Shadow Broker's best ever agents. She knows more about, well, everything, than most people learn in their lifetimes." He shrugged slightly. "But she made the mistake of finding some things out about this rogue spectre of yours. And ever since people have been trying to kill her."

The Commander nodded to show she was following.

"Well Elli came to me, knowing I had a friend who was now travelling with you, and wanted me to pass the info on. As you can understand, I didn't really want to get involved, or get Garrus involved, so I told her to leave and hide for a while. Next day she showed up with severe wounds... and I figured the Citadel was no longer safe for her." Cy was looking at the floor. "So I began pulling strings and talking to people here at C-Sec. We cleared it with the Council on the grounds that Elli's information could help you, and now she's been sent to your ship. Please Commander... my little sister is extreamly bright and she's tough, too. She'll help you out immensly, I'm just asking that you keep her safe in return. Please." He looked up, staring at Shepard with pleading eyes.

Zalora frowned, not knowing exactly what to do. On one hand, she wasn't sure if this girl would be a help or a hindrance, and the crew weren't exactly fond of the aliens already on board so how could she bring another into it? And then there was Garrus...

"Does Garrus know your sister?" Zalora questioned, quirking an eyebrow.

"No, Commander. I think he knows I have a sister, but she never seemed to important. Mainly we talked about work, or similar." Cy shrugged his shoulders.

Joker touched Zalora's arm to get her attention. "If she's so young, Commander, we can't leave her for Saren to find. Turian or no, she needs help, right?" He blinked, thinking it would help the Commander to know he'd support her no matter what. "Besides, it'd be good to have someone annoying Chief Williams right now." He smirked.

Zalora smiled a bit and gave a nod to Joker before looking back at Cy. "Okay, we'll do it. Your sister needs help, and if she does know things about Saren, then I guess we can trade information for her safety." She said confidantly.

Cy broke into the Turian version of a smile. "Thank you, Commander! Thank you!" He looked at his boss and nodded. "And you too, sir. I know this wouldn't have been possible without you."

Denarvi nodded happily at Cy then to Shepard. "Glad that's settled. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to complete. Good day, Commander." He gave a salute to all present, and soon walked off.

Shepard nodded and watched him go before looking back at Cy. "Is there anything else we should know about your sister, Cy?"

Cy rubbed the back of his neck. "Commander, I won't lie... Elli has to be met to be appreciated. She's your average teenager, hyperactive and usually a nuisance, but she's incredibly bright like I said earlier - give her a job to do, and she'll do it. She's also stubborn, not easily influenced, and will get along with everyone." He nodded slightly. "Please keep her safe, Commander, because I can't." It pained him to admit it, but he was in over his head in this matter.

Zalora nodded. "Consider it done." She turned to go, Joker was already waiting on the stairs.

"Oh, Commander, one last thing. Could you give these to Elli and Garrus? They're marked." Cy pulled a couple of envelopes out of his desk and handed them to the Commander who had held out her hand. "Just a couple of notes, and some credits to help Elli get by." He shrugged.

Zalora smiled, gave a nod to him, and then followed Joker up to the elevator. They went in, activated it, and stood a little apart as it went up. They didn't talk, didn't even look at each other, both swimming in their own thoughts. Shepard was wondering what Elli would be like as a member of the crew, and looking over those two envelopes, while Joker seemed to be thinking over something his mother had said the night before. Neither seemed prepared to mention the fact they'd almost kissed just minutes before.

Once the elevator reached the docking bay at the top, the doors slid open, and the Commander stepped out into the cool, open mid day air. She glanced at Joker, and was about to comment, when someone called out to her.

"Commander Shepard!" A bright, cheerful voice chirped from nearby, and Zalora looked up to see a beautiful Turian girl sitting on some crates nearby, a bag at her side, legs hanging over the side of the crate and swinging slightly. Her base colour was the same as Cy, bronze to gold, but her stylish markings around her face were a lot paler than her brothers, and made her resemble a lotus blossom in appearance. Gorgeous green eyes sparkled in a friendly manner, her lips almost seemed to smile instantly, and her head spikes were somewhat shorter than the average Turians.

If standing, she would have been about a head shorter than Garrus, and was a lot slimer with a very curvy figure hidden beneath civilian clothing. Bandages were wrapped about her upper arms, hiding wounds she'd recieved from her new found enemies, but all in all the girl looked delighted to be there.

"Wow, I totally can't believe I'm really joining your crew!" The Turian leapt down off the crates, heaving her bag with her. "This is gonna be so much fun!" Before the Commander had a chance to reply, the Turian began to dig in her bag. "Oh, before I forget. Here - some comm pads I found with messages of that bad guy, and I've got a lot of stuff on the Geth; I heard you had a Quarian friend, so I thought she might be interested." She grinned at the Commander.

And Zalora just stared back. There was something about this girl that she'd liked instantly. Chirpy, happy, willing to help. She figured they'd get along fine. Finally Zalora smiled and looked over the comm pads. "Okay, sounds good to me. Come on board and we'll get you set up. If Tali's back, you can talk to her about the Geth info." She smiled, blinked her baby blues and walked into the decontamination area of the Normandy. Joker followed on his crutches, and the new girl brought up the rear. Soon they were being decontaminated.

"You're Joker, right?" The Turian chirped, ignoring the beam of light going over them, and smiling at Joker.

Joker blinked and smirked back at her. "Finally, a fan." He joked and soon shrugged. "Yeah. What gave it away? Ruggedly handsome good looks?" He smirked still.

"Nah, more the crutches and the fact you're all googly eyed over the Commander." The Turian snickered, but grabbed his hand and shook it. "I'm Elli! I heard you're the best pilot there is. If theres time, can you teach me some stuff about ships? I don't know much about 'em." The quirked her head sideways.

"Sure, if theres time. Always willing to further peoples interests in the love of my life." Joker patted the wall jokingly.

Elli giggled and soon they were stepping into the ship. "Whoa!" Elli gasped as she looked around the Normandy to begin with. "This is... awesome!" She jumped up and down on her toes. "I'm in a real Alliance ship!"

"I take it you've never been on a ship before?" Zalora questioned, crossing her arms and watching Elli. Joker had hobbled off to the pilots pit to rest his legs finally.

"Oh, well, broken down ships, sure. I been smuggled on a few in my life, and kidnapped by Krogans once, and then there was that time Cy shut me in a locker and I was almost shipped to Noveria - that was fun." Elli laughed jokingly. "Lucky he remembered and got me out before it was too late, huh?" She smiled happily, flashing sharp but beautiful teeth as she did so.

Zalora chuckled and shook her head a little. "Yeah, lucky. Come on, I'll show you around and introduce you to everyone."

They started off down the corridor, and Zalora was happy that most of the crew were back. She introduced Elli to everyone, and was glad to see most people liked her well enough. Pressley, of course, had a hard time talking to Elli, and soon forced himself out of the conversation to flee, but Doctor Chakwas found the girl enjoyable, and more than a few soldiers actually seemed to flirt with the Turian. They ran into Wrex in the crew quarters, putting a pistol he'd borrowed into Shepards locker. Zalora was more than a little confused to see Wrex and Elli actually got on quite well - she guessed it was because Wrex could see Elli wasn't old enough to have remembered the war between their people.

Once they'd spoken to practically everyone on the upper floors, Shepard led Elli into the elevator and took her to the garage. And that was where it happened.

Elli had jumped out of the elevator instantly, eager to see the garage and the Mako, the engines and more people, and poor Garrus had been walking past at that instant, obviously lost in thoughts of his family troubles... The Two Turians collided and went toppling to the ground. Garrus obviously didn't realize Elli was the new addition to the crew, because Zalora was sure he wouldn't have been so courteous if he'd known. Seeing Elli lieing there looking stunned, arms bandaged, wincing in pain, Garrus' good side had kicked in and he knelt beside her. "I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

Elli looked at Garrus and blinked in stunned silence. She'd knocked her wounded arms, and they were acheing more than a little, not to mention how sore her bum was from falling over, but it was all unnoticable since she'd just realized something more important. She'd ran into another Turian. A male Turian. A _cute_ male Turian. And her flirty reflex kicked in as easily as his good reflex had. She reached down and held her ankle, even though it didn't hurt at all. "Ouch! I think I twisted my ankle..." She whimpered a little, smiling sweetly at Garrus. "But it's not your fault..."

Garrus gasped, thinking she really was hurt. And yeah, he'd happened to notice she was a rather attractive Turian, but hadn't quite grasped on her game yet. He frowned as he watched her, and touched her ankle gently to see how bad it was. Elli gasped and yanked her ankle away as though it really pained her, so Garrus looked around for something to help.

"Here. I can carry you over to those crates and I'll take a proper look." He offered.

Zalora had watched the crash and the landing and now the Turians chat. At first she'd been worried, but now she was leaning against the closed elevator doors, arms crossed, smirking. She was a girl, and she knew what Elli was up too. She was enjoying seeing her sworn brother acting so caring about a woman too, since, if nothing else, it had taken his mind off his family problems for now.

Elli smiled sweetly still, and nodded at Garrus. "Thanks, that would really help."

Garrus, still not clueing into the game as it was, scooped the girl up in his arms, one supporting her under her knees, the other holding her firmly around her waist. Like that, with her arms wrapped around his neck, he carried her over to the crates near the Mako and sat her down. He hadn't even noticed Elli wink at Zalora.

Rolling her eyes in amusement as she realized Elli was going to keep Garrus preoccupied for a while, Zalora walked over to the crew lockers, and pushed the envelope from Cy for Garrus into the Turian's locker. Frowning, Zalora glanced at Kaidan's locker, and soon reached to open it, wondering if it was right to clean it out so Elli would have a place to keep her things...

Not sure, Shepard glanced around to see if there was anyone to help her decide. Wrex was still up on the other level for God knows why, and Garrus was busy with Elli. Not many soldiers were down there, and Ash was obviously off sleeping to try and heal her head because her work bench was empty.

Zalora sighed and slowly pushed the button. Kaidan's locker slid open. His armor, weapons, and everything else he'd had with him on that last mission were absent. But his spare uniform was tucked neatly in there, along with his home possessions, some photos, and a note? Zalora frowned and studied the note from where she stood, unsure if she should read it. After all, Kaidan was dead, but what if it was a bad note or if it was something she didn't want to know about him? Driven by curiosity and the hope that the note would somehow give her peace, she reached for it.

Her slender fingers slipped around it, and she brought it out of the locker, unfolding it as she did so. It was a scrap piece of paper, but Kaidan had scribbled something on it in a hurry...

_Salem Foster. Merc hired by Alliance. On Normandy for three days, then requested transfer. Never spoke to Zalora. Now serving on off-world. Rehabilitation project - slave reccuperation. File states he was a slave in his past, probably from Mindoir but never confirmed... Salem Foster Salem Shepard?_

Zalora stared at the piece of paper in her hands. Salem Foster. The name of the man Ash had said she liked. Zalora had picked up on that name, because it reminded her of her brother. Her brother whom she'd thought was dead... Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen him killed... And she'd never got the chance to meet this Salem Foster - he'd always been on different shifts, and she'd actually commented to the Captain that it was like he was avoiding her. What if it really was her brother? Kaidan had written it, so it was possible, right? Confused and alarmed, she didn't realize what was happening until it was almost too late...


	8. Chapter 8 Concentrations A NoGo

Zalora turned to head over to Garrus and Elli, not caring that she was going to interrupt the teenagers flirting, but she never even managed to take a step. Standing directly behind her, pistol pointed at her head, was a man, dressed in black, face masked. "Goodbye Shepard." Was the only thing he said, and Zalora gasped, dropped the piece of paper and reached for her own weapon...

But it wasn't there. She wasn't carrying any weapons. Her life flashed before her eyes as she backed into the lockers, and her eyes slammed closed as she heard the blast.

But she felt no pain. Nothing at all. It took her a moment to realize she was alive. Only then did she open her eyes and notice that the man was lieing dead at her feet. And Wrex was practically running towards her, his smoking gun in hand. He was talking, she could see his lips moving, but she couldn't hear it. Nothing at all.

She glanced around, everything seemed to be in slow motion, and saw Elli scrambling over to her, ankle fine. Garrus looked shocked to see the femme running so easily, but having heard the blast he'd rushed to Zalora too. Soldiers were swarming around, trying to get a glimpse of the corpse and their Commander.

But Zalora wasn't hearing it. She couldn't hear anything. Her life had flashed before her eyes, and suddenly she'd relived all that horror. The slaughter of her homeworld, and the sudden thought that her brother may have been alive all that time, the memories of the Blitz, Kaidan... and her body just surrendered. She slid down the locker, landing on her rump and clinging her knees to herself.

Garrus skidded to his knees and clung to her, shaking her and yelling something, but she couldn't hear. And she didn't think she cared.

"Commander! Zalora! _Dalninil!_ Listen!" Garrus yelled, shaking her. "Wrex, what happened?!" He looked at the Krogan, eyes demanding.

"How the hell should I know?" Wrex growled, towering over the sitting Shepard and kneeling Turians. "I just came down in the elevator and saw that assassin with his gun to her head. Shepard didn't have her weapons, she was defenceless. So I fired." He shrugged, but his red eyes looked troubled.

"She needs a doctor." Elli said, clinging to the numb Shepard's hand. "Someone should get that lady doctor. Now!"

"Doctor Chakwas just left to resupply before we leave." One of the soldiers commented. "But Doctor T'Soni is still on board. I'll find her!" He raced off.

Elli nodded. "Good. Now you lot, grab some weapons and take a good look around the ship. See if theres anyone else on board you don't know. If this assassin got on, theres a possibility there could be others on the Normandy." She said stubbornly to a few soldiers nearby, her playful attitude gone. The men nodded, seeming to like that someone had taken control in the absence of their real Commander, and rushed off to do as commanded.

Wrex nodded a little. "Garrus. You should take her up to the med unit. That corpse probably isn't helping her any." He blinked his blood red eyes, gesturing to Shepard who seemed to be staring at the corpse with wide blue eyes.

Shepard was shivering like mad, but didn't protest at all to her Turian brother scooping her up. Garrus, escorted by Wrex, took her into the elevator and from there into the med unit to wait for a doctor to see her.

Tali had rushed to the scene as well, but stayed far back from the commotion. Only once the others were departed did she approach Elli to find out what was going on. "Was that the Commander?" She asked, nodding her helmeted head in the direction of the elevator.

"Yeah." Elli nodded, having picked up the piece of paper and got to her feet. "She was almost killed. I think she's just in a state of shock. I don't think she's ever been defenceless before." She frowned, green eyes staring towards the distant elevator.

And she was right.

Liara did her best to care for Shepard once she was in the medical bay, but being a scientist not a real doctor, she couldn't help much. Basically she just made sure Shepard was comfortable until Doctor Chakwas returned, and even then there wasn't much they could do. Chakwas gave Zalora an injection, mouthed for her to relax, and the Commander's world faded to black.

It was morning by the time she finally awoke, her senses flooded with the noise of people talking around her, her muscles acheing from lieing still so long. She carefully opened her eyes, and couldn't believe it.

Joker was sitting on the bed next to the one she lay in, legs hanging over the side, crutches resting nearby. Sitting beside him talking to him quietly was Ash. Standing at the end of the Commander's bed, talking to one another, were Wrex, Elli and Garrus. They were chuckling a little, but didn't seem all that happy.

Tali and Liara were standing nearby, looking over Doctor Chakwas files for something to do. Everything seemed rather tense, even the air of the medical unit.

Doctor Chakwas hand touched Shepards gently. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Commander. You gave us all quite a shock." At her words, all the others turned to watch, relieved to see Shepard awake.

Zalora turned her eyes and noticed the Doctor standing at her side. She was parched. She could feel her throat was dry and sore, but she sat up slowly and managed to say; "What happened? How long have I been out of it?"

"About eighteen hours." The doctor replied. "You were in a severe state of shock, which is why your hearing blanked out." She smiled lightly. "What do you remember?"

"Seeing my life flash before my eyes." Zalora winced and swung her legs over the side of the bed so her back would be to Joker and Ash while she faced the doctor. She was too embarressed to look at anyone else. "But never mind that. We should check the ship to make sure theres no one else like that on--"

"Already done, ma'me." Ash replied. "Elli gave the command, and we searched high and low. Found one other, and he's been handed over to Citadel Security. Should consider himself lucky, cause if I'd got my hands on him he'd--" She got cut off by Wrex.

"And I dragged the corpse out of the garage, Shepard, so its safe to go back there." Wrex said, crossing his arms and giving a nod.

"And we cleared out the Lieutenant's locker for Elli to use." Tali added, her voice calm.

Zalora felt like a fool and slipped a hand over her eyes. The others took it as a sign she was in pain, and someone even gave her back a light rub.

Annoyed, severely, more at herself than anything, Zalora said quietly. "Thank you. Thanks for saving me, Wrex. Good to have someone paying attention." She commented bitterly and shook her head.

Wrex just gave a nod, somehow sensing that it was a sore subject.

Zalora sighed and slowly lowered her hand. She watched Elli step closer from the corner of her pools.

"Commander... You're not angry are you? I was just trying to help you out." The Turian girl said quietly, hands folded in front of her.

_Yeah, just trying to help me out... Gave the order to search the ship, was probably responsible for cleaning out Alenko's locker... and everyone likes little Elli. _Zalora thought, angry at herself for being so bitter. Trying to force the thought from her mind she gave a slight smile. "No. I'm not angry. Just pissed off. I should have known better..."

"You had no way of knowing there would be assassins on the ship, ma'me." Ash said, jumping up from where she sat and leaning against the bed Zal was perched on. "None of us knew. We're all to blame."

The others agreed with quiet mumbling and muttering. While they were preoccupied with that, Elli pushed a piece of paper into the Commander's hand, and Zalora recognised it as the note she'd found in Alenko's locker. She winced as she remembered.

"Well, I think that's settled. You're well now, Commander, so I'll leave you with these few so I can go and tell the rest of the crew the news." Doctor Chakwas soon left the medical unit to do so.

"Everyone was very worried, Shepard. No one slept last night... we thought you were going to die." Tali said quietly, rubbing an arm.

"I wasn't hurt." Zalora said stubbornly.

"No, but your vital signs dropped dangerously." Garrus commented with a gesture of his hand.

"Yeah, Shepard, everyone was worried." Wrex said in his deep tones. It somehow comforted Zalora to think Wrex had been worried too, since he usually didn't care about anything. "Garrus almost wore a trench in the ship with his pacing." The Krogan smirked.

Garrus winced. "I wasn't that bad. At least I didn't drink coffee all night to try and stay awake." He glanced at Ash.

"Yeah, and that coffee tastes like sh-- Sorry, forgot there was a kid on board." Ash said, shaking her head, obviously meaning Elli when she referred to a kid. "Anyway, it was either that or watch T'Soni blowing things up in the lab. Is there anything left of it?"

Liara twisted her hands together. "I was just having trouble concentrating. It wasn't that bad. And really it only happened because Elli wouldn't stop talking and breaking what concentration I had." She frowned, worried Shepard might think less of her.

"Hey, sorry, but I talk when I'm nervous." Elli shrugged and gave a small smile. "I was scared my first night on the Normandy would also go down as the day Commander Shepard died." She winced.

..._Commander Shepard died... not Zalora Shepard..._ Zalora frowned as she realized that.

"But 'cause I was in here, I didn't see much of what anyone else was doing." Elli tilted her head sideways, looking questioningly at Tali, Wrex and Joker. The others stories she'd heard.

"I spent the night sorting out all those odd engine wires." Tali admitted quietly. "I thought it would keep my mind busy, and it worked. I noticed Wrex cleaning his armor... and his backup armor... and his weapons--"

"Yeah, we get it, Quarian." Wrex barked suddenly and shrugged. "What are you looking at?" He demanded of everyone when they caught on that he'd been cleaning to avoid visiting the med bay. Zalora noticed his armor was exceptionally well cleaned today. "What about you, Joker?"

Joker, who had been quiet throughout it all, just watching the Commander, shrugged.

Ash answered for him. "In here the whole night, sitting right where he is now. Did you leave at all?" She blinked as she looked over her shoulder at him.

Joker shook his head. "Not once. My ass is numb." He smirked lightly.

Zalora chuckled and shook her head a little, noticing that the others seemed to find his concern amusing too.

Tali chuckled. "Now that's dedication to a ship."

"Or to a woman." Garrus said, and Zalora saw the corner of his lips twitch in what could be considered a smirk.

Everyone went quiet, and Zalora glanced over her shoulder to see Joker. He had his face turned so she couldn't read his expression, but she could tell he wanted to talk to her.

"Ugh, so, Tali, want to come see that stuff I got on the Geth?" Elli offered to break the silence and also so she could make an escape.

Tali nodded. "Yes. I'd be interested in anything you could offer on them, Elli. It is very important to my people, in our battle against the Geth."

"Sure. Come on then." Elli turned to go and paused, glancing at Garrus with a playful smirk. "Want to tag along?" It was a simply statement, but the tone held so much.

If it had been possible, Garrus would have blushed. He rubbed the back of his neck and his mandibles twitched slightly. "Uh... sure." He nodded once then, smiled and Zalora, and followed Elli and Tali from the med unit.

Zalora blinked and watched them go.

Ash spoke up next, watching Liara go into the sub-room she favored as she did so. "So Wrex, want to show me how you got your armor so clean? Mines beginning to get some rust, and I can't figure out how to fix it." She shrugged.

Wrex agreed with a quick mutter and soon gave a nod to Zalora. "Shepard." He turned to go. Ash followed, giving a wave to Zalora as she did so.

Zalora winced. She knew Ash had been lieing. The soldier took excellent care of her gear, and would never let it get rusty. Ever. She wondered why everyone had been so quick to make a getaway. Was it her?

Joker watched them go, and slowly moved his crutches so he could stand. He winced slightly, and gave the Commander a light smirk. "Sorry, numb." He chuckled softly.

Zalora smiled lightly, but there wasn't much enthusiasm in it. "You making a run for it too, Joker?" She questioned.

"Run for--" Joker looked stunned. "Commander, they only left so because Garrus made things akward by what he said. You know, about dedication to a woman?" He stepped up to her med-bed and leant against it a bit. "Are you alright, Commander? You look tense. And you're acting... strange."

Zalora frowned and dropped her gaze. "I feel like a fool. I didn't defend myself. I just became a coward." She shook her head.

It was Joker's turn to frown. "Commander, you didn't. So what, an assassin got the better of you for once? It's nothing. You faced down the Blitz completely, you've proved yourself... you're allowed to be human." He smiled softly, trying to coax her into a good mood.

"Joker, you don't understand--" Zalora tried to say, but Joker cut in.

"Yes I do." Joker said firmly. "My legs are the only thing that don't work, Commander. I'm not simple. I know all about what you've been through, and Doctor Chakwas went over it all for me last night. You're in shock, sooner or later you'll realize there was nothing you could have done differently." He paused to take a breath, and Zalora leapt in.

"Yes, I was in shock, but not for the reason everyone believes." Zalora practically growled the words. "I've been backed into corners before, Joker, and always survived. Luck, I guess, but this time I wasn't prepared, sure, I can blame it on that, but it wasn't shock." She frowned and turned her eyes away.

Joker touched her shoulder and tried to get her to look at him, but she wouldn't. He grumbled and moved around the bed so he'd be looking at her, face to face. "Then what will you blame it on?" He asked.

"This!" Zalora held up the small piece of paper and shook her head in annoyance. "I found it in Alenko's locker, read it, and I was so shocked that I forgot where I was, even who I was." She looked troubled as she lifted her gaze to Joker's.

"What is it?" Joker slipped his hand into hers and took the paper so he could see for himself.

"A note, obviously. In Kaidan's handwriting. A note saying that Salem Foster, who was assigned here for little over three days, could very well be Salem Shepard, the brother I thought was killed when slavers raided Mindoir." Zalora sighed, and shrugged her shoulders. "My brother could be alive, Joker. And if he is, he obviously didn't want anything to do with me..."


	9. Chapter 9 Brothers Anonymous

**((A note from Zi; howdy to anyone who's read this far, and thanks so much for that, but a word of caution - the first half of this chapter "Brothers Anonymous" was written around the same time as all the previous chapters. The second half was written over a year and a half later, and I've forgotten where I was going with it... so it may change just a little... or more. To tell the truth, I've had a major mind block, and my muse is only just trickling back into action. An endless supply of fizzy drink and chocolate will hopefully remedy that situation, but if not, feel free to beat my muse, Vitalini, to a complete and utter pulp.))**

"All right, Joker, I'll do what I can. Good luck, both of you. Give my best to the men. Over and out." Captain Anderson's voice echoed through the comm link, and then cut out as he exited the conversation.

Joker sat in his pilot seat, crutches stowed under the front console. He blinked his dark eyes and closed the comm, before turning to look at Zalora who was standing at his side, arms crossed, frowning. "He'll do what he can, Commander. We'll track down that Salem jerk and find out his story. If he is your brother, we'll find out." He smirked confidently.

Zalora sighed. "But if he is my brother it just opens a whole lot of new questions. For one, how'd he become a merc if he was captured by slavers? And for another thing, why did he avoid me... If he is my brother, he's the only family I have left... and he wants nothing to do with me."

Joker reached for her arm and gave her wrist a confidant squeeze. "Zalora, you're not alone, just remember that. You'll always have the crew - we're your family now. If this guy is your brother and he avoided you on purpose then he doesn't know what he's missing out on." He flashed a smirk at her.

Zalora looked at him, her eyes lit up and she smiled. "Joker, I--"

"Hey, you two, no hand holding in the pilots seat. 'Fraid I'll need to see some ID before I can let you two run off as well. Can't have underagers making out on public streets and giving the Citadel a bad name." Ashley had approached, smirking jokingly.

Joker removed his hand from the Commander's wrist and turned back to the console, smirking as he typed up some random co-ordinates. "Very funny, Williams."

"Just watch yourself around my best friend, fly-boy. Hurt her, and I'll, well, ah--" Ash winced and rubbed the back of her neck.

Joker turned in his seat to see her, quirking an eyebrow in question. "Break my legs?" He smirked.

Ash chuckled lightly and shook her head. "Yeah, well, anyway, I actually just came up here to get out of the garage for a while. That Turian chick has got the aliens in sync." She took a seat in the vacant chair near Joker. "I think Garrus is falling for her."

Zalora listened, smiling a bit as she did so. She'd never considered how much they seemed like family until now. When Ash said that about Garrus she quirked an eyebrow. "Might have to have a chat with him. Apparently she's still a teenager." She chuckled.

"Tell me about it, but as far as Turians go, I guess she is pretty attractive." Ash shrugged and looked at one of the screens near her.

Joker shook his head. "I bet you have no idea how weird that sounded, do you?" He chuckled and soon glanced sideways at the Commander. "We'll be at the Mu Relay in just a little while Commander. Sure you want to go planet hopping at a time like this?"

"Yeah, finding resources is important right now. Besides, I've had enough fighting for a while." The Commander nodded her head, baby blue eyes on the screen.

Joker didn't say anything, but he was relieved. He hated it when she was out there getting shot at, and he was stuck waiting for her on the Normandy.

"You look relieved, Joker. Why so tense?" Ash smirked, looking at Joker.

Joker glanced at her. "No reason. Just nice to know there wont be any shooting for a while." He smirked and shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah, fly-boy, if you think I'm buying that then you've hit a dead end." Ash snickered and shook her head. "Well, better get back to the garage and get my gear ready. Surveying planets still means I get to bring my boom stick along." She smirked, got up from her chair, and soon marched off.

Zalora watched Ash go before looking back at Joker. "You know, she's right. You really did look relieved." She chuckled a little and shook her head.

"Yeah, well, like I said, its nice to know there wont be any shooting for a while. Especially since I don't like the crew getting hurt." He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. "Or you..."

"Joker, listen, I--" Zalora started, frowning a little.

Joker cut her off. "Zalora, whatever you're going to say, don't..." He smirked just a little and glanced over the back of his chair to check who was around. Unfortunately the survey squad were getting ready, and walking down the hall, so they'd hear whatever he said. With a shake of his head he looked back at Zalora. "Commander, we need to talk, but not here." He shrugged and gestured to the team approaching.

Zalora listened and glanced in the direction of the team, getting his drift. "Okay, Joker. I'll come find you when we get back from surveying, and we'll find someplace to talk." She said quietly, her lips forming a soft smile on her face, and soon turned and walked off to join the survey squad.

Joker watched her go, turning in his chair to better see as she gave the team their orders. He blinked and tilted the peak of his cap a little as he watched the squad salute and continue to get ready as Zalora marched off to get her own gear and weapons.

"And suddenly I have a very bad feeling..." Joker muttered to himself, replaced his cap and swung his seat around to go back to his console. The nagging feeling remained in his mind, however. It was only a short while later when Ashley came up behind him again, pulling her chest armor into place and tightening it.

"Hey, Joker." Ashley nodded as she paused at his side. "Look, what's going on with Zalora? She seemed miserable." She blinked as she glanced at the pilot.

Joker's shoulders slumped slightly as he shrugged. "Dunno, really." He glanced at her sidelong. "Isn't really my business. Or yours." He didn't think the hint was too subtle, but it was too late to retract it.

Ashley's eyes narrowed. "Hey come on! She's my best friend, if there's something wrong, I want to know." She pointed at Joker almost threateningly. "And I don't like being out of the loop, fly-boy, so _talk_."

Joker sighed and leant back in his seat. "Okay. You remember the merc, Salem? He was only with us for a little while-- oh wait, what am I saying? Of course you remember him; he spent all his time down in the garage flirting with you." He smirked suddenly, and wasn't at all surprised when he received a slap across the back of his head which knocked his hat forward and blinded him for a second or two. "Ouch!" He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat his hat straight. "Okay, okay, but you do remember him?"

Ashley crossed her arms. "Yeah. So? What has Zal's bad mood got to do with some merc?" She shrugged her shoulders and stared down on the pilot.

"Well, it could be, just maybe, that he isn't really a merc. Well, he's a merc, but he's actually something more." Joker said slowly. He was a little annoyed; in a way he wanted to keep the secret to himself so he'd be the one Zalora relied on to talk to, but he knew deep down that Ashley deserved to know. That didn't mean he couldn't make her suffer a little by talking slow.

"Joker!" Ashley snapped and made a gesture with her hands which obviously meant _'go faster or die!'_

Taking the hint, Joker continued on faster. "Well it's slightly possible that he is in fact Salem Shepard, our dear Commander's brother who was supposedly killed when slavers raided Mindoir, and he isn't exactly... dead." Joker shrugged, watching Ashley with a smirk on his face. "Not to imply he's the walking dead or anything, but--"

"Not funny, Joker, that was in really bad taste." Ash shook her head. The thought was racing in her mind. _Shepard's brother..._ Over and over again, repeating to the point where it would have driven her mad, except-

"Chief! You ready to go?" Zalora was now standing close to the airlock beside the ground team, pulling her helmet on and glancing at Ash. She obviously hadn't heard the pilot and chief's conversation.

Ashley spun to face the Commander, straightened her shoulders and walked towards her best friend. "Sure thing, Commander. Ready to go." She took her helmet from a private nearby who'd been holding it for her and nodded as though saying _Just give the word._

"Okay. Joker, how much longer?" Shepard glanced at the pilot as her hands fiddled with a clasp of her armor.

"About two minutes til the jump, Commander, then only a few more before we hit planet-side." The pilot said, glancing from the console to his Commander. "You sure about this?" He quirked an eyebrow, just double-checking.

"Concern noted, Joker, but yeah, I'm sure. We'll scout out in two teams - Ash, take a few in the Mako. I'll stay ground-side with the others on foot. Two groups will go faster." She'd replied to Joker almost snappishly, and then turned her attention to Ash lightning-quick. The pilots concern just seemed to be grating on her nerves now. She didn't want sympathy. She wanted to get things done.

Ash nodded. "Okay, Commander. Squad A, follow me to the Mako." She gestured at a few of the members of the ground team, and then saluted Zalora. "Good luck, Commander." She soon stalked off, leaving the Commander and her team standing by the airlock.

Ashley's moves were rigid and tense as she walked. The galaxy map and the whole area surrounding it was just a blur and soon she was skittering down the stairs, and had opened the elevator. The small group followed her in, no one speaking as it descended back to the garage, and soon they were walking to the Mako.

She did her best to ignore the laughter coming from the lockers over to one side. Garrus was leaning against a bench, _Ashley's_ bench, and seemed to be smirking. At least that's how it looked, Ash couldn't be sure, alien emotions were so hard to read. His mandibles were twitching at any rate. If he was smirking it probably had something to do with the pretty Turian teenager sitting on the bench at his side, throwing her hands around as she told a dramatic story.

The hooded and armored Quarian, Tali, was standing close to the lockers, and bounced on her feet, clapping her hands, when Elli got to a good part in the story. Liara stood close to Tali, listening quietly, with a subtle smile on her face. Even Wrex, who was leaning against the part of the ship he favored, arms crossed, seemed to be amused by the story, even if his eyes were focused on something entirely different.

_Ugh. Aliens._ Ashley shook her head as she stepped up to the Mako. _Why here? Why in MY area?_ She thought, and clicked the hatch open. "Alright, everyone in." She gestured to the Mako's insides, and picked up her weapon to inspect it. She did a mental list of everything; med packs, ammo, armor, shields... so forth and so on. Convinced she had everything, she finally entered the Mako, closed the hatch and drove it into place for the drop.

Casually, almost without thinking, she flipped a switch on the dash. "Chief Williams here. Ground squad A, Mako, in position and ready for drop."

Joker's voice responded through the speaker. "Got it. In position in five--"

_Seriously? Already? Hmm, those "few minutes" passed a lot faster than I thought._ Ashley thought as she glanced around the Mako.

"Four, three--"

_Didn't even realize we'd passed through the mu-relay._ She sighed as she leant her head back against the seat.

"Two--"

_The Commander's brother. Good one, Chief._ Ash sighed, shook her head, and looked at the team. "Ready?" She watched their nods of agreement, and she only barely heard Joker say "one!" through the speaker before the Normandy opened up and the Mako went hurtling towards the ground.

Back up in the pilot's seat, Joker had successfully dropped the Mako and was smirking in confidence. He glanced over his seat towards the Commander and squad B. "Made the drop, Commander. Pulling around now." He said quickly, before turning back to the controls. What seemed like minutes later, he pulled the Normandy in close to the planets ground and glanced at the Commander again. "Good luck out there!" He watched as the group B jumped into the airlock, and barely caught the wave Zalora gave him before the airlock slammed shut.

He held the Normandy in close and waited, listening. Finally he heard the Commander's voice through the speaker.

"Ground team B to Normandy, all offloaded, clear to take-off. Take care, Joker." Her voice cut out.

Joker nodded silently and pulled the Normandy away from the planet, back into orbit to wait. When all the systems were stilled, he sat back in his chair and sighed. "Now I wait. Like always. With only a bad feeling for company." He fiddled with a few buttons on the console, checked some stats and soon sighed. It already felt like hours had past, so he knew with strange certainty that this would be a HUGE wait. With another sign, he leant back and made himself comfortable, tipping his hat forward enough to cover his eyes so that he could at least spend this long wait dreaming.

What he was dreaming would just have to remain a mystery.


End file.
